Crayon Nuts

Poet Charles Bukowski like soap from my childhood.

2011-02-04T07:27:00.000-08:00

Like Fels Naptha soap.
There when u need it,and abrasive~Charles Bukowski-counterculture icon: Book "Bone Palace Ballet"

What is Fels Naptha?Poison Ivy Treatment: If you are exposed to poison ivy and you have a reaction, simply shower with Fels Naptha to remove any resin left on the skin and it will help to dry up the rash as well.

This is my first literary widget placement. You should be able to open the widget and read some of Charles' poems. His work is not flowery...and the first poem in this book is definitely raw. Charles is not called an iconic counterculture poet for nothing.....but his poems don't make you want to quit poetry!

Browse Inside this book

Get this for your site

Drowsy Day's Buzzings

2010-08-24T16:51:00.001-07:00

Bees. Peaceful enough bees, these thought in my head.
I can’t write a poem a day…Roadl Dahl works from 10 to noon. He has written tons!
I should be able to do that…and write one stinkin’ poem.
I’m tapped out…nothing new, fresh, comical. Nothing interesting. Nothing universally appealing. Just drowsy bees and a smigde of anxiety. I need a poem.
Nothing poetic about today.
Normal,
commonplace,
daily grind,
sun up,
windy day,
buzzing flies,
flying birds,
traffic noises.
Make soup,
invent a name for it: Refrigerator Soup.
Yep, like no one’s thought of that one before.
Mow the lawn,
chat with the neighbor,
find out the cat houses have been decatted or at least cat numbers have been thinned.
Enjoy the sunflowers,
Feed the toad a fly,
Feel winter coming on by watching the flies pile on in the house, the car, the garage.
Think about needing a poem.
Think about published poets. Did Bill Holm write about everyday things because Leo Dengel led him down that road? Or, did they coexist alongside each other and evolve separately even though they were colleagues? Why do these questions come up when the people aren’t really around to answer the questions. Yeah, that’d be too easy…asking ol’ Bill that question.
I could not really speak to him. He was like a god to me. His brain was so far above mine, I could have been an ant crawling around on a gladiola flower.
If we can call this a poem, I guess I’m good for today.

Sweet summer, my love.

2010-08-23T16:51:00.000-07:00

Summer, my sweet love.
I adore you. You make time fly. You make time endless, stop, cease, curve,
and I no longer know what day it is. I only know your changing sky, and the joy of an afternoon drowse to the gentle wooing of the summer wind.
I know you have to leave me, but we loved well my sweet summer.

Poems, write yourselves.

2010-08-21T06:48:00.001-07:00

Poems, write yourselves.

I’m really REALLY glad I gave this write one poem a day on weekdays a shot.
If you think writing one poem a day is easy…it is NOT.
Inspiration is hard to find.
Sometimes, there’s simply nothing on my mind.

“Look out your window and write what you see,” said Bill Holm.
I’ve looked out that window a million times, and there’s no poem.
Sometimes a wisp of an idea breezes by,
Then I am distracted from it by an annoying fly.

“Put a nugget of universal truth in your poem to make it resonate.”
Here’s a nugget, I like sleeping late.
Poems, I wish that you would write yourselves,
Either that, or that I might find a colony of versifying elves.

Kitchen Capers

2010-08-19T12:09:00.000-07:00

Summer is too hot for cooking.
With the onset of a cooler morning I got busy.
Chicken soup.
Sweet rice.
Fried Rice.
Double batch of focaccia.
Relish tray-carrots, celery, baby corn, cucumbers, tomatoes, beets.
Steamed and marinating green beans.
Beets sliced and pickled.
Iced tea.
Iced coffee.
Grand finale-red peppers, green peppers, onions, chicken-along the lines of Subway's "Sweet Onion Teriyaki Chicken."
Then, someone volunteers to do the dishes!
Pure poetry.

Officer Down

2010-08-19T12:03:00.001-07:00

Officer Down

Roaming new shopping territory I come upon two stationary, flashing cop cars, one on each side of the road, about 100 yards apart. Caution. Drive smoothly.
A ton of St. Paul Police vehicles are parked in a lot in Brooklyn Center.
To my right, a parked parade of police motorcycles. Oh a retirement or a training, some kind of event.
Driving and gawking, I see two cherry pickers, one on each side of the road, hoisting two parts of one gigantic American flag. Reporters, camera tripods and operators in the street
People staring and somber.
Sign says Goodbye Deputy Dewey.
I knew him only from the news…his fight to live lasted maybe seven months, his young wife by his side, simultaneously hopeful and crushed.
I drive under the flag, past the church, past all the unmanned vehicles, and the smattering of early spectators, wishing I could present a universal hand salute that means, “What a damn shame this man had to die because of some idiot.” My heart aches with the hearts of strangers under a flag that more than any other flag I know of stands for freedom of choice and sacrifice for the good of others

Tuesday's Poem

2010-08-18T04:29:00.000-07:00

Bon mots

An apple a day...
The things we say.
Rise and shine.
Earlybird gets the worm.
Bird in the hand,
Penny saved, penny earned.
Early to bed early to rise.
Used to be the things we say.
Now it's cool, right?

Wedding Ring

2010-08-16T19:33:00.000-07:00

When did women become ring obsessed?
The ring.
Symbol of undying love, eternal love, monogamous love.

A fairytale we still buy to this very day.
A ring. A circle. A continuous circle.
Slides ON a finger, OVER a finger, SURROUNDS a finger.
Love is kind of like that.
Sometimes it’s the same old same old circle.
Round and round we do the daily to dos.
We smooth love ON the small errors, the tiny fights, the misunderstandings.
We put the good of the other person OVER our own—or we strive to do that.
When we SURROUND ourselves with the strength of love, the ring is less a symbol and more a guide. A fairytale guide

Teenage Monsters

2010-08-13T20:54:00.000-07:00

Adolescence
Hellish work for a monster.
Heightened senses shriek unexpectedly.
Green grass bright as a searchlight.
Blinding sun sears like kryptonite.

Carrion scent wafts in a schoolroom window.
Roadside critter casualties. Makes more than the stomach growl.
Errant breeze carries delicate laughter, rustle of a girls skirt, bubblegum mint mingles with half awake desire.

Keep the fiend composed behind a bored sneer.
Save the howling sessions for nighttime beer runs and riding the running board, wind blasting wild and free.

Thursday's Poem.

2010-08-12T07:38:00.000-07:00

Dry Season

Tough times for a vampire.
Sun so hot bones prescorch through inches of lethargic flesh.

Waterworks

2010-08-11T06:39:00.000-07:00

Hello? City utilities?
My water shut off inside my house doesn't shut the water off completely.
Can you shut the water off to my house from the city side? We need to fix a leak.
Great, I appreciate it.
Mutters to self, "Last time I write a poem with Neptune in it! The water just busted out of the kitchen sink and started gushing everywhere."

Tuesday's Poem

2010-08-11T06:35:00.000-07:00

Neptune's Balm

Vault from your watery bed ice blue moon.
Sear the edges between by dreams and hopes.
Drown his tongue on my moaning flesh.
Salt my wounds.
Cauterize his passion.
Sink me slowly, jellyfish gently,
to the floor of your oblivion.

Crayon Turf

2010-08-09T07:56:00.000-07:00

Crayon Turf

Magic Mint jogged all apricot golden with a red brown rhythm,
turquoise blue music piped into her ears only.
Yellow Orange wheeled by in a hot magenta mood, all broken pieces ‘cause
black-white boy cheated again.
In a violet purple haze-rage, Yellow Orange greyed Magic Mint’s day, wheelie poppin’ in an indigo mudded, puddle, splashin’ all up in Mint’s magic.

Commit to it.

2010-08-07T06:42:00.000-07:00

Poem a day? Okay, 5 times a week.

Garden Party
Ant flower implores sky goddess
"Moonfire mambo and clink with me."
Incandescent relentless foamy waves accompany.
Couple more sun cycles, sky ant born.

Questerings

2010-03-06T09:42:00.000-08:00

Panda Express Mandarin Sauce. YUM O!

Wows up a dish of white rice with wild rice right nice.

Quest--get recipe. Get sauced!
Quest coming out of this blog of a quest.
Quest--find animated incense to put here!

On zeeee menu

2010-02-27T12:02:00.000-08:00

I love this commercial.

Here's a rundown of some kitchen action for me today.

Italian Marinade Broccoli and Cauliflower Salad

Roasted Chicken Breasts

White Chili

Refried Beans

Relish Tray

Homemade version of Fat Free Sugar Free Chai Tea Flavorer so I can make my Homemade Chai Tea Bolthouse "Knock off."

Eek, the seedy underbelly-beware!

2010-02-17T03:46:00.000-08:00

Happily internet cruisin' in "Springtime Flowerland" I discovered a thriving undercurrent of secret trade, Go ahead, get involved, but remember, you're playing with the "big kids" now, and don't screw up!!! If you do, you might get the three prong garden cultivating fork in your back.

Here's YOUR glimpse-------*identity of trader hidden so I can live to garden again.

Seeds I have to trade:

Thank you for considering a trade with me and for looking at my exchange page!

I hate to even bring this up, but I have recently received trades in regular business envelopes rather than bubble envelopes.

I realize that you may be trying to save money, but I mail most all seed trades in a bubble envy with two stamps. That's still cheaper than buying a pack of seeds, so please extend the same courtesy.

I only trade using bubble envelopes, please don't proceed in a trade with me if you don't plan to do the same. NO EXCEPTIONS

I will never knowingly make an unfair trade. Please let me know if you ever think that I'm not offering a fair amount in return for your offer.

Seeds are from various sources. Please use the key below to determine where they originated from. Note that all seeds originating from my gardens are open pollinated, however I do make the effort to keep cultivars distanced from each other.

Origin Legend:

C: Commercial Seed

T: Trade Seed

G: Originated from my Open Pollinated Garden

Adenophora stricta Ladybells G Lovely purple bell shaped flowers hang down

Asclepias Curassavica Tropical Milkweed Scarlet G Monarch host plant, reseeds easily. Waiting to harvest more seeds.

Asclepias Curassavica Tropical Milkweed Silky Gold G Monarch host plant, reseeds easily

Belamcanda chinesis Blackberry Lily Hello Yellow G Iris like foliage, petite yellow flowers

Kitchen Bliss

2010-02-13T11:48:00.000-08:00

Kitchen Fun today included me making the following:
Bread Bowls--I have a smoked chicken and artichoke salad in mind for later.
Zucchini and Potatoe casserole
Pizza Roll featuring shredded zucchini and wild rice bratwurst slices

Zucchini and Apple Bundt cake. YUM!

Home Decor

2010-02-09T07:52:00.000-08:00

One friend calls it "dinking." I call it "hamstering."
The act of rustling around your home fiddling with things.
Sometimes the mess reduces. Sometimes the mess intensifies.
Sometimes I turn to internet and magazine resources for decorating ideas as I move the stuff from place to place.

Ran across this helpful tip just today, while taking a break from fadoodling.

Need a belly laugh?

2010-02-01T07:55:00.000-08:00

Need a belly laugh? This did it for me. This photo graces the website boasting "10 Homemade Beauty Products Cheap" or something like that.

Forget the products---just chuckle out loud...roll on the floor...free fun right here.

The original link was written by someone from "across the pond," in the UK (Great Britain--you know, England, Scotland, Wales?) and looking at this picture...I wonder...there's this hump in the neck, back area....perhaps we have found one of the hoaxsters that swims in Loch Ness, pretending to be the Loch Ness monster.
More laughing...but refined and quieter---as is the "British" way.

Toodlebip!

Plain is no Vanilla!

2010-01-31T10:48:00.000-08:00

image from foodiewithfamily.com/blog
Dannon Plain Yogurt might APPEAR to be like Vanilla, but they taste totally different.
Plain is SOUR.
So, sour yogurt that isn't even less sour with frozen berries...into the smoothie maker you GO!

Ahh, much better.

How to make your misfits a smoothie STAR!

Leftover pear that didn't taste that great from the can in the first place-plop into the blender.
Reduced price banana-browning there with your last brother of the bunch--smoonch, into the blender.
Sour yogurt--pretend you are not pouring that neon colored yogurt juice in with a spatula full of white pucker
Rap the bag of frozen fruit on the countertop and pour those red, blue, black frozens jewels right on in.

Let the smoothie magic begin.

Abacadabra
Wet the rim of a stemmed glass, nestle into your sugar designed for "rimming" and ENJOY!!

Where does one get TANG?

2010-01-28T10:23:00.000-08:00

This summer, at a beloved relative's graduation party, a delicious tortellini pasta was served.
Hungry for it, I hit the internet recipe file. I made the salad, but I just think it needs more tang!
WHAT gives pasta salad TANG? (nonononono--this blog is not about Tang-the astronaut's drink!)Let me know if you have any ideas.

Here's what I did.

Purchase and prepare one bag of tortellini pasta. Cool off.
Add 1/4 cup parmesan cheese
Add 1/4 frozen peas
Add about 3/4ths cup steamed broccoli flowerettes cut into tidbits--smaller bite-sized pieces
Add 1/4-1 cup fat free Italian dressing
Slice turkey pepperonis in half, add as many as you want to the salad.
Add one small can sliced black olives
Add about 1/3 of an 8 oz brick of mild cheddar cheese cubed
Turn your pepper mill about 5-6 times for some tantalizing pepperyness
Mix it up.
Refrigerate.
Taste.
To add tang-------------try your various TANG-ers.
I added a cap of original rice vinegar.
Here is where I added about another 1/4 cup of Italian dressing to moisten that pasta up since it absorbed the dressing and was a little dry.
Tang ideas--
I thought about a squeeze of lime juice.
Could have added some red wine vinegar.
Lemon squeeze?
Cider vinegar?
Ooh, if I had some Frozen OJ, I might try some highly concentrated OJ.

Anyone else have some ideas?? Post a comment. I would love to hear from you.

Super Slurpy Single Simon-Garfunkel remix

2010-01-26T09:29:00.000-08:00

January----in Minnesota.
Nothing but ice cold white far as the eye can see outdoors.
One could turn to the dark side......"Hello Darkness my old friend...I've come to talk with you again." Simon and Garfunkle.

OR

make it a SUPER SLURPY SINGLE REMIX

Nod of the head to Simon and Garfunkle.

Hello smoothie my old friend.
I've come to slurp on you again.
Because while winter ice is creeping---
Off my hips blubber you're keeping.

And the visions that are sunny still remain.

Caribbean cruise or an island hopping plane.

What the Devil is in that white box?

2010-01-20T19:21:00.000-08:00

From my working perch window, I see the UPS truck roll to a stop at the end of my driveway. The brownsuited busy man exits his shiny brown truck with a cool cube shaped white box cradled in both arms. My mind remembers flowers brought to my door and Bosc pears shipped to me Christmases past and I wonder, "What the Devil is in that intriguing white box." I whisk downstairs breezily and pull back the weatherization blanket with a Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman smile. Hand on the doorknob, I watch the UPS guy swing over to my neighbor's house.
The smile disappears faster than the box.
HEY UPS GUY--unless the package is for ME, stay outta my driveway entrance--you got that??

Trendiest Trend-BROILERS

2010-01-14T17:57:00.000-08:00

This one's a tribute to my mother.
Helen, you were one of a kind---a comet with a tale to tell.

Laaaadies and gentlemen...I like to try to guess the next best thing before it's anything.
I believe I have an inside scoop on the latest food craze. Keep an ear and an eye out. They're coming!
BROILERS.
Yes indeedy.

Hot concoctions of meats, cheeses, salsas and sauces all bubbling hot and smiling open-faced at ya!

Cheers mom.
You loved swiss cheese and garden tomato broilers the best!! Me too!

Readers....name your faves, or invent new one. Pay tribute to your friends-custom design a broiler and put it in the comment box.
This one's for Amee
Ham and avocado piggyback piggy dip.

Carrie
Baby back riblet and red onion, carrot salsa broiler.

Tara--turkey, roasted red pepper, feta and Hummus Hottie.

Ask for 'em at a restaurant or food vendor near you.
Broilers!

Passionless Pudding

2010-01-14T17:45:00.000-08:00

Here's an example of a Creative Writing lesson worked up for a student of mine. The idea is to "respond" or "talk back" to poetry and poets. You find a poem, then give your personal response.

Project Title-Middle Age Slump or Gravity Works

Here's the Poem-one of my favorites
Fire and Ice-Robert Frost

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

Here's my personal response or "talk back"

Thanks Robert----Back in the day this poem stirred my soul. It pronounced all my elemental passions I yearned to express. Now, stress induced cortisol, a sedentary lifestyle and invisible radio waves zinging through our increasingly twittified lifestyles has left me a gelatinous lump. Passionless as a square of bread pudding upside down in the garbage atop yesterday's coffee grinds.

"Weed Tea" first just funny, then useful.

2010-01-10T10:24:00.000-08:00

I like flowers. To reward myself or to cheer myself, I internet search various plants.
While viewing Kiss Me Over the Garden Gate, I found this commentary. *See below.
Reading it...I learned secret fixes to tricky garden troubles.
One, "Transpants without missing a beat with a little B-1 drink."
Two, "weed tea."

I personally am not a fan of "weed" or marijuana...I have some strong STRONG negative opinions on it, but one can see humor two ways...one, weed tea would be quite the funny drink...and two, how ironic, to use weed tea to make your garden GROW.

Now, I just have to research how to make these drinks----B1 and Weed Tea.

*On Nov 6, 2004, Compost_it from Maple Falls, WA wrote this about "Kiss Me Over the Garden Gate" plants.

Started growing this in a food bank garden 10 years ago to draw the eye. It is a spectacular display for back drop or above a fence. A fun plant to watch grow; it's little collars, the flower presentation, the flowers and seeds side by side and of course it's size. It volunteers and is easily pulled where not wanted. Transplants without missing a beat with a little B-1 drink. This fall I shook the clusters of flower chains into a large tub for seed just before the first strong storm. What a crop! The better the location (sun) and soil, the larger and more dramatic the plant. But in my shady home garden scraped sub-soil, it still reaches 6 feet with just drinks of weed tea. This is a great plant. Try it, you'll like it! **Please be aware this is considered invasive and/or a smart weed by some. By others, a nutritious grain to stave off starvation in times of famine. A self sustaining beauty for your gardenscape.

Avoid eating money!

2010-01-05T16:00:00.000-08:00

Money advice I heard once--when you get money, avoid spending it on candy, and other food and drink items. Yes, the advice seems geared for the youngster, but still, it's solid advice.

May I suggest, when you are empty nesting and housebound by single digit MN temps, make food from what you have on hand. Food from what you have on hand really helps stretch the budget too.

Yesterday's food fare was
-creamy delicious mashed sour cream garlic potatos,
-potato soup, and
-a double batch of pizza dough which became a pizza roll.
-Part of the pizza dough became fried bread in the hamburger grease.

When unexpected hungry guests popped in, ALL of the food was enjoyed.

WalMart and local Coborn's grocery store---eat your heart out. I spent no money on food at your place today!!

Want to learn how to make your own pizza dough and pizza rolls? Internet recipes for pizza dough and pizza rolls abound.

I got started through Marnie Swedburg's book--Kitchen Shortcuts.

You can read some of this book through Amazon.com.
http://www.amazon.com/Marnies-Kitchen-Shortcuts-Marnie-Swedberg/dp/031214119X/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpi_1

Fresh Start 2010

2010-01-01T08:54:00.000-08:00

Today's New Year Baking---Chocolate Muffins using cocoa powder.
An apple bundt cake using apples from this fall. YUM, that batter was tasty, as was the apple "juice" from the bottom of the food processer which handily chopped me a lovely 3 cups of apple bits, both the small reds and the starting to wrinkle yellow apples.

I tossed the apple peels and cores out into the cold snow of the backyard-to feed the squirrels I claim I don't like much. Hey, 8 squirrels at my neighbor's feeder puts a shiver in my "what COULD happen" consciousness.

2009-03-03T05:31:00.000-08:00

http://www.beadjewelryblog.com/

2009-03-02T13:20:00.001-08:00

Maukie - the virtual catgreat free widgetsWidgetbox

2008-06-07T09:30:00.001-07:00

Category-Yard and Garden Projects. Remember, I am "having a life" after empty nesting and as I turn 45!!
The above photo is the northern side of the garage, where mostly Lilies of the Valley and one Rhubarb plant grow. I put some hostas there, and a Jacob's ladder. The plan is to put down an edging. Remove most lilies of the valley...and add
perennial and annual shade lovers that provide some food and other useful options.
I have been researching...and will let you know what develops.

Oh. Fun little detail. I had a piece of edging leftover from the front yard bed I edged with black plastic edging. It fit PERFECTLY without measuring. Now that doesn't happen often.
Also, It started to rain, and I begged for enough time to finish it. I got the time, and stayed mostly dry. Garden and yard serendipity.

2008-06-07T07:23:00.000-07:00

Isn't this turtle tail amazing? Look at the lines and the shapes. Lots of triangulation going on.

TurtleTurtle -This is a BACK claw.

Recently, it occurred to me that tortoise shells might be an interesting material to use in my jewelry adventures. So, I started thinking along those lines, as I also have been thinking of how one would acquire other natural materials, like bone. There's a BIG couple of concerns though!

If you choose to use natural materials called Roadkill....there's the horrifying, smelly, and maybe even dangerous-germy-death salmonella thing to consider.

I mean, it's not like I can put a pirranha pond in my backyard and toss my freshly and not so freshly acquired nature's goodies into it. Somehow, the young neighbor children, and the city zoning board might freak.
I digress....or wander from the shortness this post COULD be.
Short vcrsion restart.

I started thinking perhaps roadkill, particularly turtle, could be part of my jewelry/art hobby.
I was driving along a nearby road, and spied a dead snapper of considerable size.
I flashed back to my first marriage-where my hunter trapper husband sold certain dead animal bones for profit. (Okay, raccoon penis bones. They're about the size of toothpicks.)
He would see a raccoon dead on the roadside, grab the shovel, and plop it into the back of the pickup, where open air would prevent us from having to smell the works for too long.

Back to the turtle on the side of the road....22 years later.
I had a rubber bin for garage sale purposes.
I spied a dead snapper. I turned around. Parked. Got out.

Went to collect the turtle, and it hissed. Ooops, alive.
Not to lose my bravery, I grabbed it by the base of the tail and hoisted it into the bin.
I later read the turtle's neck can actually go backwards as long as its shell. I think perhaps a healthier turtle could have reached me and bitten me. Not something you want from a snapper.
Especially not a snapper of this large size. Look at the size of the front digging claw.

I have net snappers before. They are primeval monsters from the murky unknown depths whose presence creates fear and relief. Relief it didn't hurt you.
Run in 1-Caught one at a dam somewhere around grade 7-10. Probably 7-8ish. I hauled it up about 15 feet, landed it on the concrete, and squatted down to peer at it. It hissed at me and I was afraid. Instinctively and out of fear, I kicked it-and it plummeted back to the murky depths from whence I had lifted it. My line? Probably had to cut it. Can't recall.
Run in 2-Eating snapper-A friend's family had a yearly snapper turtle feed. About age 19.
Tasty, particularly the pot roast style of cooking and the bbq style. Beer and sneaky peaches helps the appetite there.
Run in 3- Sometime in the early 2000s. Fished all day catching about 4-5 inch panfish. Mostly bluegill, sunnies. I caught fish for about 6 hours. Probably caught a couple hundred. By this time I was whisking my pole around and slapping the fish on the water to remove them from my line. The slap method was efficient. I was waiting for the BIG ones to come in closer, as I was sitting on the dock, toes in the water.
Friend comes down to say, "dinner." I lift my feet, and not too much longer after my feet were out of the water, we see a snapper turtle swimming out from under the dock, about an inch below the surface. We could see it plain as day, and it was about a foot and a half from nose to end of its shell.
Yikes yikes yikes. My toes are pink, and wiggly and they were dangling for hours.
Run in 4-Small one on road, daughter about 10 -11....maybe 12 or 13. Brought it to town, and showed it to a friend's boy of similar age..and we filmed the adventure. I'll see if I can find and post the film.
Run in 5 2008. Dead turtle isn't, and a bit of turtle rehabilitiation research results in me bringing the snapper back to where I found it, and placing it ACROSS the road it was crossing...to let nature take its course.
People here don't seem to understand how a person can think of helping a wounded wild thing...that can bite off huge chunks of your flesh, fingertips included.

This turtle was quite seriously wounded, with a cracked head. When I can, I will get some video up too. I call this turtle Darth...because he wasn't able to hiss that well. Usually a snapper hiss is quite crisp, sharp, and well, HISSSSSY!! I think the crack down the middle of the snapper's head and maybe pain gave this snapper's hiss an airy quality...which was more Darth Vader like than a snapper usually gives.

The color enhanced shot helps you see the extent of the injury. Green would be the turtle's eyes, and the red line, the head injury. NO, after reading how the neck can stretch back over its shell the length of the shell, I did NOT care to position the turtle so we could see its head stretched out fully! One last note. If you find a turtle on the road, and you seek to "help" it....then put the turtle on the OTHER side of the road from where it was traveling. The turtle was crossing the road probably to lay eggs, and will keep trying to cross whatever you do.

Me Having a Life

2008-06-05T07:24:00.000-07:00

Me Having a Life-
Okay, The focus of the blog is going to be "Me Having a Life..." It will be my "touchstone," my "grounder." It will be that which keeps me moving forward as I reach my 45th birthday, and spend the very first summer as an empty nester with a daughter who is in healthy pursuit of her own life. *She had a summer away before turning 18, but it was less healthy.

I usually ignore my birthday, pretending it doesn't happen.
Not this time.
I am turning 45. To me, this is what I am calling my halfway mark.
AND, as a teacher, summer time is a time where I can do whatever I choose.
Unstructured time can be tough, though.

I have no boyfriend, no husband, no family mostly.
My parents died in 1994, and in 2001. My siblings-not related by blood, haven't kept me in their lives and vice versa since my mother died, with the exception of a sister who lived in China, who DOES keep in touch, and a (blood) brother whom I saw about 3 or four years ago. It ended badly there.
So, as a halfway lifer with little family, and a daughter who needs room to grow her own wings--I need a life. (I left my church denomination about 3 years ago-which means I also left the volunteering I did over the summer)
So, here officially begins my finding a life.

This week is the kick off week.
Instead of a birth DAY...I actually have been making it my BIRTHDAY WEEK..for a couple of years now.
I might make it official. So, in the spirit of my Find a Life Blog--here's where I am so far.

Monday- I got my daughter, brought her to my house, we visited, she rested, I cooked a roast..brought her home. That was my birthday present-TIME with her. I loved it.
Tuesday-I actually can't remember for SURE, but I think this was the day I learned I was not going to have to find a new job. I went out for Chinese food with a friend and saw the movie Baby Mama.
Wednesday. Got daughter, brought birthday and Mother's Day gift to the woman who has been like my mom since my mom died. We spent the day with my daughter's family, helped a little with a rummage sale...did some rummage sales ourselves..then it was home for a margarita at a friend's and the movie, What Happens in Vegas.
Thursday-That's today. I will tell you later. I think I am going to work in the yard. It's a gift to myself...

2008-05-25T11:56:00.000-07:00

This is the very first video I ever uploaded to YouTube. It is in three parts because I haven't learned advanced editing. Just basics for now.

Osprey Nest

Update. Here's part two of three.

Here's another very short clip...8 seconds..of an osprey on the nest, scolding because a hay rack full of kids drove by. There I was, with video camera, and they were happily waving. It was a Memorial Day weekend event for them in a rural farming area about half a mile outside of a town of about 3500 people and a couple hundred elk and about the same amount of buffalo.
.

In this third short clip, you can see the wingspan of the osprey on the nest.

.

The Way it IS.

2008-05-24T08:59:00.000-07:00

Well. Hmm. Er. Um. See, in the Spring and Summer, I usually just go outside. That means my blog gets relegated to the place my winter coat, mittens and hats are....not with me.
So, if you are a regular, and miss me, you know where to find me. Outside.
Meantime, it's a BLUSTERY Memorial Day weekend Saturday, and I have some time to blog.
SO, Catching up.
I've been landscaping. Pictures to come.
I've been driving around. Pictures of a snapper turtle to come.
I've been garage saling. No pictures.
My sister in China was 600 miles from the quake. No pictures.
Life is good, with a touch of a little cruddy. No pictures.
Hmm. Not so hard to get you caught up.
I will get to the picture part later.
Happy Memorial Day weekend.
With the school year ending next Wednesday, maybe I will blog better. We'll know later.

2008-05-14T10:09:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day Memory Post-So next year I might remember what I did.
I went to pick up the daughter since her car was being "scary" for her.
Brought her to my house even though when she called I had packed the food for her house. Her house was full of people, so I said, we'll cook outdoors in a park. Actually it was just too cold a day, and with about 3 or more inches of rain, we were not likely to find lots of burnable wood for a fire. I had SNOWED up in Warroad MN on Sat. Those poor fishing opener people.
Meal, broiled salmon steaks, salad with the fat free Italian smash success dressing I made, sweet corn, and cheesecake for dessert.
The salmon was from Coborns and was about 2 inches thick. Lovely. We talked, laughed, and enjoyed, and she slept on the couch for a bit while I held her. What more could a Mother want? My eyes welled up from the card she made just for me.
PS. This is a no make up shot. I think for someone turning 45 in 2 and a half weeks, I can live with this. I am going to the eye doctor today, and if you don't wear eye makeup, things go smoother for the contact lens out and in I say!!

2008-05-14T09:58:00.000-07:00

Seeen at the neighbor's feeder lately.
5 orioles yesterday morning aroung 6:30 AM.
I will post pics from online.

I have learned that the Rose Breasted Grosbeak male and female couple I see are actually two males. I have mistakenly thought the female was a really large white crowned sparrow. Again, pictures from the net.

Male

Female

SCAM WARNING!

2008-05-12T08:59:00.001-07:00

Most people know not to take the bait on this, but it is sure sad to see this in my email.
The subject line promises "part time work at home."

Don't be fooled people. ANYONE asking for your bank account information has a plan and it's not a good one.

YINGSHI GLOBAL EXPORTS COMPANY LIMITED.7F-B1 126 NANJING E RD SEC 4TAIBEI 105 TAIWAN We are exporters based in the Taiwan. We export raw materials intoEurope, Canada, America andAustralia. Our company, Yingshi Global Exports Company Limited was established in2003. We are interested in employing your services, to work with us as ourforeign payment receivingofficer, who can receive payments on our behalf for Goods and rawmaterials we supply to ourclients in Europe, Canada, America and Australia. It does not matter whether you are already in full or partialemployment, as this is a Part-timeposition that could become permanent based on your effort andparticipation which must becharacterized by transparent honesty. It will certainly not affect yourcurrent business. Having a functional bank account to receive payments is an essentialpre-requisite (having acompany account is an added advantage) Subject to your satisfaction with this proposal, you will be made ourforeign payment receivingofficer in your region. If you decide to work for us, please forward to us immediately:1.Full Names:2.Full Contact Address:3..State:4.City:5.Zip code:6.Phone Numbers:7.Age:8.Occupation:9.Company Name:10.Bank Name (Wire Transfer)11.Bank Address:12.Account Name:13.Account Number:14.Sorting Code/Routing Number: If you are interested, please kindly get back to me via my personalyahoo account:(yingshi_globalexportscompanyltd1@yahoo.com.hk) We anxiously await your response. Sincerely, SHI LEE HUN,General Manager;Yingshi Global Exports Company LimitedTaiwan.

2008-05-07T08:34:00.000-07:00

Ooooooh, I checked my email today and TODAY, I am a poetry ambassador. Check it out!!

There's Edgar Allen Poe on the stamp. Boy, he sure doesn't look happy. Must be upset bacause I am the competition. Hah!!

Just Call me Ms. Ambassador.

2008-05-05T11:37:00.000-07:00

International Society of Poets- I have been invited and nominated.
The cost is extremely prohibitive, but I can dream, can't I?
screeeeccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhh

hold it, underneaththe green ISP "scam" invite, check out the what others have said online!!!!

The Board of Directors and the Advisory Committee of
The International Society of Poets
hereby nominate Marti Prekker
for this year’s Poet of the Year competition.
You are cordially invited to attend the poetic event of the year where you will compete for this prestigious prize of $20,000.00 cashand a $10,000.00 publishing contract.We request your presence at the International Society of Poets Convention & Symposiumin Las Vegas, Nevada on July 24–27, 2008.
Please R.S.V.P.
As one of our honorable members, we are offering you VIP Early Bird Registration savings to this star-studded gathering.Please R.S.V.P. by May 12, 2008 to take advantageof these exclusive discounts.

Here's a link address to a Consumer Complaint about the Agency, the International Society and how it's a ripoff. http://www.ripoffreport.com/reports/0/146/RipOff0146643.htm

I entered several poems and my Icy Hands poem about near death experience I had disappeared.Then in the International Society of Poets they sent proof to read and approve, then said I didn't send. It never appeared on sight so I rewrote it and sent.Now I get this deal about wanting to publish my poem internationally and I discover its all a scam.How do I know if poems are good or not?I am blind in one eye now and losing sight fast in other and told poetry site in case of my mess ups, but you pay them, they do not pay you for your work or poetry...MarcellaMexia, TexasU.S.A.

Poetry.com: Noble House: International Poetry Society International Society Of Poets U.K.: Took some of my poetry off site and lost them but wouldn't reply to regular mail I sent to the address and never answers the phone when I call. hone message says approximately 8 minutes for representative and I have sat for 30 waiting, huge phone bills Ripoff

This link lists alias names the International Society of Poets uses.

http://windpub.com/literary.scams/endall.htm

2008-05-01T07:30:00.000-07:00

Yard and Garden Project-Sideyard
Overhanging black walnut branches, an overgrown lilac and the house next door keeps this area primarily shaded. This southern exposure contained patchy grass and bare dirt spots with minimal plants-daffodils, crocus, and johnny jump ups. Tulips, irises and some daylilies make a brief appearance, but their attractiveness is short lived. Hostas take up most of the space, provided attractive but boring greenery.
The plan-
A low cost, low maintenance makeover.
Increase function-make a lovely little path from front area to seated deck area.
Optimize sunny area for growing herbs, and flowers.
Increase visual appeal by create planters alongside the house. Use annuals and perennials and design a longer lasting, lovelier visual planting.

Before.
Summer 2007, I put in the small raspberry patch. The right side shows a rudimentary plan

for a path. You can see the patchy dirt and grassy areas. Along the house nothing of note visually. It's an area ripe for a beauty makeover.

After- Here you see the path surrounded by gravel, with larger stones defining the right side boundaries and the raspberry patch contained by the scalloped edging on the right.
Plans in the works. Planter next to house, herbs, flowers, plants.

SIDEYARD VIEW NEAR THE DECK
More highly shaded, troublesome area is transformed to a potted garden paradise. *Okay, you will see the potted garden paradise later. Our Spring is about two weeks behind schedule this year. The gravel eliminates the patchy dirt, unifies the area, AND lets rainwater flow from the sloping back yard away from the house, preventing unwanted rainwater seepage.
Before

After

DOWN TIME

2008-04-29T18:40:00.000-07:00

Heya hiya hiya. I am very busy with the job, and I need to reload the program I use for making the pictures. So, bear with me, I will be back.

WOW, I am a one poem wonder!!!

2008-04-24T15:50:00.000-07:00

Here the poetry.com people are again!!!
Another delightful deal all for my one little poem.
Feel free to commemorate my achievement any way you see fit.

A personal note from the desk of:

Howard Ely, Managing Editor
Dear Marti Prekker,
I am delighted to inform you that your poem "When I fear for what my children's lives may be" has been awarded our prestigious Editor's Choice Award because it displays an original perspective and unique creativity -- judged to be the qualities found most in exceptional poetry. Congratulations on your achievement!
Marti Prekker2007

Your poem is also featured in a deluxe hardbound edition. This anthology, as expected, will soon be sold out. We have, however, reserved a limited number of copies that are now available only to poets included in this distinctive volume. Because you are one of these poets, we wanted to remind you of its limited availability. If you haven't already ordered a copy or wish to obtain additional copies, this is your last opportunity to do so. Don't miss out on owning this unique edition featuring your poem!
Display Your Poem For All The World To See!
Many people have asked if we can make available a commemorative plaque to present their poetry in formal fashion. We are glad to be able to do this. Your poem can be beautifully typeset on archive quality vellum with your choice of borders, then mounted on a walnut-finish plaque under Lucite. These 10 1/2-inch by 13-inch plaques are truly impressive ways to exhibit your work. They also make wonderful gifts. Please see the attached material for further information. Again, congratulations on your achievement!

Imagine Having Your Poem Professionally Recorded . . .
Every so often, as our Editors review the poems that have been presented our Editor's Choice Award, they personally select a few poems that they believe would have a wonderfully expressive quality if read by a professional reader. Your Editor has suggested that you become one of 33 poets whose artistry will be recorded professionally as a special part of a new CD poetry collection -- The Sound of Poetry.
I would like your permission to include your poem "When I fear for what my children's lives may be" in this highly acclaimed and internationally distributed collection. The Sound of Poetry, released as a 33-track, three-album CD set (one track for each poet), features an inspiring introduction as a prelude to the selected artistry, as well as a brief commentary about each featured poem and poet. Captivating Baroque music forms the background to the spoken words.And Marti, if you wish to obtain a copy of this three-CD set, select the option on the Artist Proof where it says “Yes, I wish to own a copy of The Sound of Poetry. I must be completely delighted or my money will be promptly refunded.”

Just imagine how your friends and family will feel when they see this remarkable album set, which comes in three high-quality, colorful protective cases all housed in a distinctive slipcase . . . when they hear your name . . . your words . . . all presented as part of this exclusive collection. These albums will instantly become a treasured keepsake to all who see, hear, and enjoy them.
Sincerely,
Howard ElyManaging Editor
P.S. Go here to commemorate your achievement.

MY POEM MY POEM

2008-04-23T09:57:00.001-07:00

Hello again...I have become worthy of a plaque...(not plague) because of my POEM!!
Man I need a "gig" like this.

Marti, Your Poem "When I fear for what my children's lives may be" Won The Editor's Choice Award!

A personal note from the desk of:Howard Ely, Managing Editor
Dear Marti,
Not long ago, our Editors reviewed the thousands of submissions entered in our International Open Amateur Poetry Contest, and they awarded your poem the prestigious Editor's Choice Award. This is an honor awarded to only 12% of the submissions we receive.
Marti Prekker Has Been Selected As An Editor's Choice Award Recipient And Has Earned A Discounted Membership To ISP!
Since we announced the names of the winners, many recipients have contacted me and requested a way to display their achievement; therefore, I put our artists and designers to work. We were able to create our most exquisite and distinguished wall plaque ever. This year, we are offering this limited edition wall plaque commemorating your achievement as an Editor's Choice Award recipient. Each certificate is numbered, signed, and mounted on a solid maple plaque. This beautiful display piece truly honors your accomplishment!
As an Editor's Choice Award winner, we're sure you'll want to improve your craft and further your involvement in poetry. There's no better way to do that than by joining the International Society of Poets (ISP) the largest poetry organization in the world. As a member of the ISP, you'll receive a quarterly magazine filled with articles, contests, and lots of poetry. In addition, you will be part of an organization that promotes PEACE—Poetry, Education, Accomplishment, Charity, and Equality. Please join the thousands of members who have submitted poetry, including Archbishop Desmond Tutu, former U.S. President Bill Clinton, and the late "Man in Black," Johnny Cash.
Go here for membership details.
The plaque and membership are individually valued at $135.00, but today you can order them together for $75.00 (plus $14.00 shipping & handling), which is a $60.00 discount off the regular retail price. Please take the time to review the benefits of becoming a member of the International Society of Poets and join today. We'll send your Editor's Choice Award plaque and membership package immediately upon your acceptance of this offer.
Sincerely,
Howard ElyManaging Editor
P.S. If you are not completely satisfied, we offer a 100% money back guarantee. Simply return your materials within 90 days of delivery for a full refund.
If you are having an issue with the images and links or if you want to view this email as a web page, open here.To ensure you receive emails from Poetry.com please add poetry@poetry-email.com to your address book now.This email was sent by: Poetry.com- 1 Poetry Plaza Owings Mills, MD, 21117, To Unsubscribe: Unsubscribe

Hey batter batter.

2008-04-19T07:26:00.000-07:00

Not baseball!! BREAD. Batter bread.
I have done a batter bread or two YEARS and years ago. Oh, yes, well, okay, banana bread and cherry bread and zucchini bread are batter breads. What? Apple bread and pumpkin bread too. You are right.
Nevermind. Scratch that whole batter bread comment.
It's been years since I have made a brown batter bread.

Back in the day, in my mother's kitchen, we would put the batter in cans, and have an attractive, cylinder of moist, dark, brown bread.
Today, I made this.
Delicious.

The recipe comes from Home is Where the Food Is-Recipes You Can Live By
-an off to college, or off to live on your own type of guide.

Early American Brown Bread
You can make this bread without any eggs

2C whole wheat four
3/4 C white flour
1 C brown sugar packed
2t baking soda
1/2 t salt
2C milk
4 t lemon juice or vinegar

Mix whole wheat flour, white flour, brown sugar, baking soda and salt in large bowl.
Combine milk and lemon juice or vinegar-let stand 10 minutes. Stir milk gradually into flour mixture until well blended. Spoon batter into greased large loaf pan. Bake at 350 F for 1 hour.

My comments. Make SURE you mix the dry ingredients as much as you can. Unevenly distibuted baking soda is just disturbing to the palate.
I was afraid of putting all that batter into one large loaf pan, so divided it into two loaf pans, decided to follow instructions and put it all back into one. Turns out all in one loaf pan was the right choice.
One more comment-I use dry milk for so many things. Saves me the trouble of keeping fresh milk on hand.

I love it. QUICK, easy, sweet. Definitely a do again.
Just one question. Where did the early americans get brown sugar? I know, I know, there are probably a hundred variations of this bread, including using honey for sweetening, and molasses.

Everyone's got advice to give.

2008-04-19T06:48:00.000-07:00

From a "How to grow a butterfly garden" site.

Consider keeping a bowl of wet sand or creating a mud puddle in your garden to encourage butterfly puddling.

Charlie Brown Pancakes

2008-04-17T08:55:00.001-07:00

Great jumping popehats batman. Get ready for an ebay auction!
We're going to be rich.
I found Charlie Brown at breakfast!

Ooooh, cooking pancakes. See how the batter is bubbling? Some bubbles have popped? You can flip now.

Okay, are you sitting down????

So a friend sends me one line....mmmmmm

2008-04-16T10:24:00.000-07:00

mmmmmmmmmmmmm corned beef.

And as I write a reply, I realize I am writing my blog. NOW, I am hungry for a NEW YORK DELI corned beef working weekday lunch!!!

Here's my reply to my friend's one liner-
The last melon.
While scruffling around I located two voluptuous yams, microwaved them, and ate their nutritious orangey goodness for breakfast one and breakfast two. I had a pumpkin seed chaser, with plain h20 and got to work after 11 this morning. I worked from 6:30 am to 11 PM for BlueSky yesterday. SO, I cleaned up stuff in the yard this morning, did some dishes, and fiddled with getting my daughter's mind set on her future. All in a half day's work I say.

I miss corned beef. My Jewish New Yorker mother LOVED to order corned beef on rye at assorted and assundry (no guarantee I used that correctly) NY delis. I got to live a pretty cool life with the way my parents loved to travel.

Wahooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.That is an emotiword which is also (secretly) an informative call of intention. *Where the heck do I come up with this stuff? Have you seen the robins lately? They have things to SAY and are saying them all right. I had two robins (in the throes of robin love) do a drive by mating as I took out the trash. They sideswiped me, then headed for my front door where the two dogs gently contemplated "should I shove the screen door open and chase?"

A third...there is often a third involved in the early spring robin flings.......followed flying with less crazy careening. I am beginning to think I want to live a little more of an exciting life...and New York is whispering in my ear. I say, shut up you BIG APPLE!!!!

Do they think I am a poem factory?

2008-04-15T08:46:00.000-07:00

That poem deal? They want another poem. Do they think I just have them sitting around?
I will toss them something from my dating life. Shh. It's not really a poem. Don't tell them!!!
Of course I declined again to pay for the printing.
I wonder what their next "come-on" is.

Poetry.com
thanks me for my submission.
Indeed, in more ways than one they appreciate my submission.

Here's the next masterpiece upon which they will fawn with insincerity and not so subtle attempts to have me fork over a fifty.

Dance of the Divorced
A little about me...
I am a natural at talking and making people laugh.
I teach things like creative writing, often with a twist of fun.
I like to do simple things like garage sales to more complex things like landscaping.

What are you looking for in a partner?
I would love some male companionship.
We'll know if we hit if off.
Things that would be fun to do-fishing, grilling, garage sales, fiddling in the yard, hanging out with friends.

I'd just like to add...I smell good.
On Friday nights I like to wear essence of ribeye or prime rib with a hint of hops.
Sat night perhaps some tin roof sundae,then, on Sunday,
I like to go with deviled eggs.

My Poem or my Pocketbook-which is chosen?

2008-04-14T09:07:00.001-07:00

Got word from the poetry contest I entered. I had to certify my poem...then decide if I wanted to buy the book it is supposedly going to be in.

I hereby certify that my poem, which has been accepted for publication in Immortal Verses Series, is my original work. This is an honest and true effort of my personal creativity and will be published as my original work under my own copyright. I have carefully proofread my poem and have indicated any changes necessary.
Marti, your poem was selected for publication, and as a contest semi-finalist, on the basis of your unique talent and artistic vision. We believe it will add to the importance and appeal of this edition. In this regard, you are under no obligation whatsoever to submit any entry fee, any subsidy payment, or to make any purchase of any kind. Of course, many people do wish to own a copy of the anthology in which their artistry appears. If this is the case, we welcome your order--and guarantee your satisfaction.
If you would like to order the deluxe hardbound anthology in our Immortal Verses Series, featuring your poem "When I fear for what my children's lives may be" on an entire page by itself, please make your selections below.

Yes, I wish to own a copy at the contributor's special pre-publication price. I must be completely delighted or my money will be promptly refunded.
1 Copy--$49.95 Regularly $69.95 (You save $$$)
2 Copies (great for gifts!)--$40.00
EachHalf Case (6 books)--$199.00
Full Case (12 books)--$369.00

No, I do not wish to order an anthology.

Oooh, I missed that option. Be right back.
Okay, I am back.
I sure hope a library near me buys that book.
Me? I already own the poem, so I can't see paying $5o dollars for it.
Hee haw.

Ooop, I did a small research.
found a
Q&A about Immortal Verses
Q: Is immortal verses publication real or fake,someone help me,because i received a letter from them recently.?
A:They do publish books as poetry.com but you pay to see your work published and its expensive. I ordered from them yrs ago under a different business name and only got my stuff 2 yrs later AFTER calling our state Attorney General. I would say its scammy.

Good, I save myself trouble and money. Funny how you want one and don't want the other yet you save both.
ooooh, next poem idea.

Throw 'em back!!

2008-04-13T20:09:00.000-07:00

Oh, oi vey I can hear my long since passed on mother asking, "How do THEY find you?"
I think it was two Falls ago I met a man for a date. It was torture to dine with him.
First, I ate what he chose which was a poorly done stir fry made mostly of crunch crunch broccoli. I like my stir fry broccoli fairly wilted.
Then there was the matter of the guy having NO front teeth. He tells me he still lives with his wife, for financial reasons.
Smile, chew, listen politely. Try not to run screaming into the night.

He pulls his shirt up to give himself a shot at dinner.
Hysteria circling.

After dinner, he thinks he's getting a kiss.
I thought he was just another....throw 'em back story. But nooo, he found me on the dating site after all this time and says..."I am divorced now."
Wow. I am so glad I didn't hold my breath.

Regarding the food choice. Chicken parmesan is a much better choice at the same restaurant. Let's see, I have met at least FOUR of my possibles there-two of whom have rejected me, and two of whom I rejected..no, change that to five and three I have rejected. . I am laughing out loud. snort snort snort. Maybe I should choose a different spot. But the food is so good, and it's in my comfort zone.

Save your Insanity

2008-04-12T07:22:00.001-07:00

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

3. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

4. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go".

5. Sing Along At The Opera.

6. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

7. Page Yourself Over The Intercom and don't Disguise Your Voice.

8. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

9. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it 'In'. 10. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

11.In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Smuggling Diamonds'.

12. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

13.don't use any punctuation

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity ... share this with your friends.

Same Shrimp Different Pose-Delicious In All!

2008-04-11T10:58:00.000-07:00

Shrimp cocktail chaser.
A lovely way to chase the snow AWAY!!!!!

Tree down, I repeat Tree down.

2008-04-11T06:48:00.000-07:00

It's a trend folks. First the sunflowers down, then the squirrel down, and then, the neighbors' tree. Sorry for the blurry picture. One, it was dark, two, the battery was low, three I think it was late too.
Man that wind howled something ferocious I am telling you. Nothing like hoping you won't be deroofed and wind up outside needing medical attention in just your blue kitty nightgown to get you talking to "The Big Guy."

Squirrel down, I repeat, squirrel down.

2008-04-11T06:20:00.000-07:00

From a letter to some friends-

They're after me. Remember me telling you a squirrel ran up a tree and then down again a bit later with a critter in its mouth (both ways-not that it matters to most people)?
So, I open my back door, reach my hand out to unlatch the dog cable and a squirrel darts out from inside this storage bench anchored against my house. Knowing there are two holes which were originally for speakers-I thought...oooh, I wonder if that squirrel has nested in the bench. I thought I might find a warm nest with adorable little baby squirrels.)

I lift the cover, and there, curled and cold, a baby squirrel. (dead)
I have to say, they are so darned cute!!!!
So, I know your dad has a thing about squirrels, so I feel a little weird being another person in your life with squissues(squirrel issues), but as Popeye says, I yam what I yam.

I REALLY HOPE YOU GUYS don't have any trouble with this crazy weather.
My neighbors' tree cracked in half and fell in their front yard, getting a bit tangled in the electrical wire on the ground, but we didn't lose power.
We have an ongoing joke about squirrels-with 6 of them stalking us, and those six having babies...
His wife's vehicle lost its entire front end and radiator because a dead tree limb fell on it...and he pretends it's the squirrels who do it, and I pretend the squirrels chewed the electric cord....
SO, when the half tree fell in his front yard, I opened my front door and said, "It's the squirrels."

Small town humor, I say.

Oh, and I had to give my ornamental pines a good beating today...in my nightgown, leaning out my front door with an extendable 6-7 foot long cobweb brush tool...the heavy snow was causing my ornamental trees at the front of my house to bend over so far I feared breakage.

I like that shrubtree because little birds seek shelter in it, and I can see them from my living room window. I was planning on putting a feeder there for my own private nature movie. *As opposed to my neighbor's feeder which feeds 6 gray squirrels and 1 red squirrel, and four and twenty blackbirds!!!

Okay, I have written you my blog. Should I feel bad or happy or pathetic??
If you want to see the poor little baby squirrel picture...go to my blog.

Sunflower Spring

2008-04-09T19:57:00.001-07:00

I drove by a garden yesterday. Sunflower down.
Repeat, Sunflower down.

I needed positive affirmation to end my night.

2008-04-08T22:33:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I get evaluated at Work. 30 minutes. Four hours there and back total.
I am ready.
I have been told my contract is not being renewed.
I am ending my day with positive affirmations I gathered from entered DBT into a search.
We'll talk about DBT later. For now, take what you need...pass a few on.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life and I will take notice of the many positive things this day has to offer.
I am beautiful.
I like myself.
I like my body.
I can feel how beautiful I am.
I do not need to respond to my emotions with food. Rather I am in control of my eating habits and eat only when I am hungry.
I have the time to exercise and see and feel my body has strength, poise and assurance.
I walk with determination and confidence.
I can see and feel that I am physically fit.
I hold my head high.
I am strong physically and mentally and emotionally.
It is easy for me to be in control of my body; both with my eating and exercising habits.
I enjoy looking good and feeling healthy.
I live a healthy, positive lifestyle.
People like me and I like myself and I am happy.
I can see how much people like me and how much I like myself.
I am loved and supported by people who are important to me.
I love and care about others and they know this because I show it to them.
I am a loving and caring person.
I sometimes enjoy being with people and feel good about my interactions.
I see myself as beautiful and intelligent and confident and that is how others see me.
I have friends who care about me, and I care about them.
I feel great as I live with the confidence to be myself and live by my own inner guidance and can interrelate to those around me, without sacrificing my own values, goals and purposeful direction.
I have a lot to be proud of.
Today I feel good
I am happy.
I am glad to be alive
I am in control of my life.
I have personal power.
I am perfectly me.
I am the best I can be.
I am centered and well-balanced.
I have confidence and poise.
I live by my positive choices.
I accept myself for who I am and I like myself.
I know that I am not perfect and never will be, but I like who I am.
I have perseverance.
I am intelligent.
I make wise choices to the best of my ability.
I enjoy the process of learning and becoming all that I want to be.
I am able to express my emotions in a healthy, positive way.
I can do anything I want.
I have many options and always make the best decisions I can.
I have stability in my life and in my self.
I am willing to take the risks necessary to being happy and living the kind of life I have chosen for myself.
I am moving in a positive direction towards my goals.
I have everything I want.
All that I want and desire is within me to achieve.
I have limitless resources and I use those resources for good.
There is enough time in the day to do all that I want to do.
There is nothing I cannot do or be if I want to.
Today I will be calm and confident.
I am everything I want to be.
I am happy with what I do.
Everyday is better than the next.
My life has purpose
There is no one else I would rather be.
There is no place else I would rather be.
I am in control of my choices and I like them.
All that life has to offer me is wonderful and it is my daily choice to enjoy that beauty.
There is abundance in the Universe and it is there to help me and I can use it.
No matter what the events of the day, the Universe is positive and will always be with me to help me through my choices, and struggles and acts as my inner guidance, direction and purpose and this is something I can always count on.
Today is my day. There is no person, no thing, no event or activity that can destroy this day for me.
I have the courage to accept the things I cannot change, to make choices to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
There is no limit to what I can do today, to what I can be, to the attitude I can possess.
Today is the first day of rest of my life and I will take notice of the many positive things this day has to offer.

Here's mine. I am okay, and pain and hurt is temporary and can't steal the good stuff in my life from me.

Birds in the yard

2008-04-07T09:22:00.001-07:00

Here are some of the birds who have been visiting.
You saw goldfinch pictures this week. Using my own pictures is less clear and colorful than pulling them off the internet.

Here we have the dark eyed Junco male.

The downy woodpecker male.

The House Finch male.

and the House Finch male and female side by side.

Empty Nest-Uninvited!!

2008-04-06T11:45:00.000-07:00

"As long as we believe that someone else has the power to make us happy then we are setting ourselves up to be victims." from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

I am quite confident, my most recent disaster date won't be reading this...so I don't have to be too gentle.
We are not moving forward-my choice.
Why? I had a "are you lying to me?" question/gut feeling.

And, since I often have more reasons...

he wasn't a man of the heart. My soul and emotions weren't going to get fed or nurtured.
I'm on the downhill slide to the second half of my life...and physical intimacy is less important than my desire for emotional and intellectual compatibility.

I have stated many times it is going to take a very very special man for me to give up my freedom. I own the remote, I decide everything. I clean, cook or leave it until later all according to my own whims. I have done so for nearly 14 years.

THINK ABOUT IT PEOPLE!!!! I have no one to have to cook for, clean-up after, or concern myself with.
I know, I have no one to wake up next to, or converse with about the mundane or the monumental-but no one else is writing checks on my account either.
(To my girlfriends who are there for me-I cherish you!)

I WILL NOT, I repeat, WILL NOT abdicate my throne and put someone else on it unless I can appreciate him and truly feel he deserves my utmost respect, and regard. Furthermore, there has to be a mutual give and take. What is love? Not a tough answer wordwise, but one heck of a tough thing to live out.....I believe love is being more concerned about the person you love, than about yourself.
Yes yes yes yes yes I know, we as persons are responsible to grow nurture, and better and develop ourselves, but love means we put someone else beside us as an equal, and at times, above us.

We care for them.....their wishes, wants, dreams, needs, desires. We are a steady, stable, (honest, faithful) helpful, positive force in their lives....while allowing them to be the same for us.

I couldn't stop giggling yesterday.
Okay, I was guffawing. I could read the writing on the wall-we were done in the negotiating stages and he was on the "cross off" list. I know the he was trying...I had coached him on how I needed intellectual and emotional care..I mean, he was trying to give me more when he said he wanted to do something for me.....he wanted to sit down with me and tell me his entire life story. I believe he felt that meant we were connecting emotionally. I think my laughter was relief I could see this in the beginning-and avoid it.

So, goodbye Mr. Didn't make it. Hello next Mr. Maybe.

Experienced Snail Counter Needed

2008-04-06T11:28:00.000-07:00

All RIGHT. I confess, I am a schoolteacher looking for a summer adventure. Sadly, my job claims it is letting me go...or maybe not, depending on....well, for now let's just say, depending on the whim of a couple of people. Without that complicator, I wouldn't have to ruin my summer vacation with a job search, but....now the vacation hunt becomes a multiple task.

Meanwhile, the United States Government almost gave me an island vacation, but since I have never counted snails of the marine type before....I don't qualify.

The Federal Government has this listing in the "New Opportunities this Week"
Description
The purpose of this reimbursable funding is to conduct coordinated taxonomic inventories and assessments of terrestrial snails on the islands of Tinian and Aguiguan in the Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands (CNMI) as part of a natural resource survey pursuant to Cooperative Service Agreement (MIPR No. M6738507POFM189) between the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service (Service) and U.S. Marine Corps. The Recipient shall be responsible for field identification of all snails to genera or other appropriate taxonomic level, and estimation of snail distribution and abundance. The Recipient will submit copies of all field data sheets to the Service upon completion of the survey work and compile all data into an approved electronic format and submit the electronic data to the Service within two weeks of completing all field work. The Recipient shall conduct work as part of a multi-disciplinary survey team under the leadership of the Pacific Islands Fish and Wildlife Office and will be required to work closely with Service personnel to plan and coordinate the timing of the surveys. All field work and reports must be completed and submitted to the Service by September 31, 2008. The selected Recipient must demonstrate proficiency in terrestrial snail taxonomy in the Mariana Islands (Territory of Guam and/or CNMI), have experience in the field survey and identification of terrestrial snails in the Mariana Islands, and provide supplies and equipment necessary to conduct the proposed snail surveys once on site. This equipment includes, but may not be limited to, all sampling and/or collecting apparatus.

No wonder people pass on "Grant Research" jobs. As you can see from the above, certain specifics are just left out.

Hmmm, I see I called terrestrial snails marine snails. Good thing I know better now.
Care to learn more about terrestrial snails, and their 'alien predators'? Click this link.
http://www.fws.gov/pacificislands/wesa/pacsnails.html

Goldfinches are back.

2008-04-06T09:21:00.000-07:00

The robins have been here at least a week if not maybe two or more. I saw one at my north neighbor's heated birdbath huddled with two mourning doves. The morning bird noises are back too...but I have only identified the white crowned sparrow and the robins. There's another out there, but I am not sure WHAT'S making that racket. Might be the white crowned sparrow...going tweeeeee tweeeeeee tweeeeeee really loudly.
Meantime, the goldfinches are here....and I have pictures. I think they were also here about a week ago, but I failed to get the camera going.

Soulmate Search

2008-04-05T07:40:00.001-07:00

WEBCAM SHOT-Cyber dating. It's a BRAVE NEW WORLD out there Alduos. *Oooh, book title or title of creative work I am simmering...."Abalone Moon."

I have said it before and it bears repeating....."The only way I would put a man in my life as a mate, partner, spouse, boyfriend-would be if that man were very very special."
I am NOT giving up being THE EMPRESS of my life for ordinary. He's going to have to be extraordinary. I am telling you...that is tough to find. BUT I have been looking and I call it fishing.

So, I have been fishing, but it's still catch and release stage.
I will keep you posted.
The latest released?
er, um..........nice, chatty, attentive, adventurous, a good travel mate. Light on empathy and heart. It was good practice.

Estelle Herskovitz

2008-04-05T07:17:00.000-07:00

Estelle Herskovitz on the left, my mother Helen on the right. The Christmas before my mother passed away she wanted to see everyone for Christmas.

I promised photos for Estelle Herskovitz, my New York aunt-my mother, Helen's sister-in-law. Antol, my mother's brother, passed away last year, around November. Estelle passed away this year...and I was googling her name and found her obituary.
*Titles of my autobiographical works...fringes, marginal, Helen's Legacy.
I write those here because when I think that I was not informed of Estelle's death...it only again makes me wonder again about the disconnects in my life. Ah, well.

This is my mother's brother, Antol Herskovitz. Some of my most delightful memories are of sailing on their boat, A Step Up, pronounced Long A, Stay Poo Pay.

Another change in the poem, quite small this time

2008-04-01T17:47:00.000-07:00

When I fear for what my children's lives may be...

Portent rills her fingers
across the chalkboard of my window.
Forced, anxious slumber
blips
a radar blip
Listening oracle tendrils inhale and hold-
Stars reel, novas flare
Systolics tense
hairs prickle
sleeping children rustle
the furnace ignites
steady
synchophonic wheeze of everyday
normal
sane
steady
living
calm
moderate
biogeneticfed, aromathized, plastic wrapped,
slumber resumes.

He Says She Says

2008-04-01T06:12:00.000-07:00

I have added on a boyfriend.
It's about time.
As you can see behind him, he comes with a great view.
Tee hee. I am placing his "ad" here so I can refer back to it much like a checklist.
Having been without for many years,and happily alone as queen of my world, I will have to share the throne now.
We'll let you know how things turn out.
He's Canadian. Awwww. give him a chance. Hes a Saskatooner or I say a Sasquatch.

here's his ad

A little about me...
Hello everyone! I'm loving, caring, considerate, respectful and most of all honorable. I believe in romance. I believe in being spontaneous. I believe that if you care about someone enough to make a commitment, that you can never give that person enough compliments. I believe the little things in life are just as important as the major things. I work hard at what I do and I like to play hard as well. I feel sometimes in life the details are more important than the whole picture. I love the outdoors, every weekend I could drive to the countryside just for a picnic and a nap, then drive home and be content. I'm the kind of guy that can hangout at home chill'n by the pool or dressing up nice for an evening on the town. I'm the kinda guy that speaks his mind and I'm not afraid to show my true emotions in public. I love football(what guy doesn't), golf, baseball, hockey, and the list goes on & on....

What are you looking for in a partner?
A woman who is sincere and honest but to herself and doesn't listen to what her others tells her about her relationships.....not so easily influenced by bad advice because you could loose a true love and a great and wonderful person at that and you may never find them again after you look back on your life and reflect after a few months or even years.

A woman who enjoys being treated like a lady and loved and deeply cared for as well as romanced. Who can smile and is extremely funny or can at least make me laugh as well as conversate a lot. if you're out there you know who you are and where you live... I will always hold a special place in my heart for you.

I'd just like to add...
I'd just like to add... if you ready for the time in your life where there's no guessing that someone really cares about you, for you and will do what it takes to keep that fire burning(as long as that feeling is mutual) ie: holding hands when out on the town(or just sitting together), calls while I'm away just to let you know I care, massages on all or any part of you beautiful body, dinner, yes I can cook ,or a night out,,there both as well and I could go on and on and will for that special girl that makes me that special guy then you know where to find me if I don't find you first... it never hurts to help, and if it does...... I'll kiss it and make it better.
P.S. Willing & able to relocate to be with the right person.

Which version do you like? Revision of previous poem.

2008-03-30T09:56:00.000-07:00

When I fear for what my children's lives may be...

Portent rills her fingers
across the chalkboard of my window.
Forced, anxious slumber
blips
a radar blip
Oracle listening tendrils inhale and hold-
Stars reel, novas flare
Systolics tense
hairs prickle
sleeping children rustle
the furnace ignites
steady
synchophonic wheeze of everyday
normal
sane
steady
living
calm
moderate
biogeneticfed, aromathized, plastic wrapped,
slumber resumes.

Recipe Books-Endless Possibilities

2008-03-30T09:02:00.000-07:00

What's one person to do with no one to cook for? Hmm, I say cook anyway.
Muffins are on the breakfast menu today.
I have pulled out my recipe book by Beth Hensperger-

Bread for Breakfast.
I am a plus sized gal with a yearning to trim the fat. Uphill battle with low thyroid and sedentary lifestyle. Never you mind though.....every step forward toward health is still a step forward.
With the increased prices gas, and grocery prices, and the need for healthy ways to eat, I have revisited some of the "Food for a Small Planet" ideas.
Here are some staples of my home.
white and red quinoa, couscous, lentils, barley, oats, wild rice, brown rice, white jasmine rice, dill, cilantro, flat leafed parsley, pasta, tomatos, potatoes, carrots, celery, nothing added (if it's true) chicken, and yeast, flours, ooh, and ramen noodles (I KNOW, what nutritional value?!?) spices, vinegars-such as my strawberry vinegar...ohohoohohoh hey, I will HAVE to try to make a chive vinegar this year. NO, no no no...a chive oil. Mmmmm. That sounds lovely. I have been learning about the sesame. There are black and white ones....
I have been learning about Amarinth, or something like that, as a flour, too. Wheat prices are so high...we are going to feel the pinch in so many places.

From the oven-

So, the muffins? Strawberry rhubarb using the sauce I made last Spring.
Can you smell them? They are almost ready. And with a walk for the dogs in and a walk to buy eggs in, (highly unusual behavior-but a necessity) I have just the right appetite.

Would you like one?

Oh my aching chairpad

2008-03-29T23:05:00.000-07:00

I have been on vacation from work. I got back into the groove of work today. My tailbone and backside HURT from the sitting. OUCH!! It's only been three or four hours. I am actually conditioned for up to 12 to 15 hours of work work work work work.
Yep, I actually consciously sacrificed health and a life for my job.
You know you do it too!!!!

Please dare to suggest a title for this poem.

2008-03-26T09:12:00.000-07:00

The branches of sleep rill their fingers across the chalkboard of my window.
Pretend peaceful slumber blips an eyedar
inhales and holds
systolics tense
hairs prickle
sleeping children rustle
the furnace blows
steady synchophonic wheeze of everyday
normal
sane
steady
living
calm
moderate
biofed, aromathized, plastic wrapped,
winter slumber resumes.

RIP-BUT NOT YET Becuse I am on Spring Break

2008-03-24T12:54:00.000-07:00

I wrote my obituary today. Enough putting off for tomorrow what I can do to ease my daughter's suffering today.

Really-when my father died, his stepmother *see note about Freud below*
I mean, his WIFE
and a cast of fiction writers wrote my dad's.
Okay, Maybe it's accurate, but who am I going to ask about its truth? Hmm??

*whoa, whoa, whoa,
Freudian slip
actually I intensely dislike Freud-he's SOOOOO Creepy and sexually twisted and deviant
I like to call them
lies out slips
Okay, I just made that up.
Either way, it is ironic that I called MY stepmother my dad's stepmother.

Ok.
anyway, my obituary note.
No one would find it right now...it's in my voluminous documents file.

Dear V_____, If you are reading this, you have cried tears because I am no longer with you. I think of the truth of that, and I know that I will always be with you because we were so close, and a mother really leaves an imprint on children. I love you, always have, always will. I think you are great, and would forgive you of anything and always come to you with love.

This is my obituary. I decided I should write one so you don’t have to worry about it in the event of my death. *Mark Twain HAS to be quoted here, "The event of my death has been highly exaggerated." (I will go see if that is the accurate quote or if I slaughtered it. )

I hope to live many years, and to see you married, and a woman of 45 like I am now. Grin, smile, sigh. 45-18 equals 27…so in 27 years I would be 45+27=72. That would be okay..but I am going to shoot for 88. Because round is a shape, and I am okay with picking an arbitrary number out of the air.
I think 92 though. Either way, I will choose later. Nope, I am picking age 92 years old NOW, today. Wow, that means you will have seen your children grow to adults and (maybe even) have children, and I would have great grandchildren. Does that make sense?…Terry doesn’t have any great grandchildren.
Let's see-the math. 92-45=47. SO, if you are 18 now

If you marry at 26 (8 years from now) and have your first at 28, 29, 30,
so add to my 45, 9 years to your first baby is 54. Add 54 and 18 I am 72. By 80 I might have a great grandchild. If your first child has a child by aged 26.
*Or I could be swallowed up by an avalanche or hit by a bus, or die choking on a ding dong or cookie...tomorrow. **My Jewish roots are showing. Sorry love.

For now, Obit time.

Actual name removed, passed away peacefully in her home. She is survived by her daughter, V------ __________, son-in-law, ___________ three grandchildren, and one great-grandchild on the way. Born in Mission Hills California, she was put up for adoption under the age of 5. Along with her said blood brother, Tony, M------ was adopted by O--- and H----Namewithheld. She spent her elementary days in California. One of her adopted mother’s sons died from a tragic fire when he was about 20. M----- was in elementary school.

Junior high and two years of high school were spent in G____ Wisconsin. One of her adopted father’s daughter's died as a result of a kidnapping and murder in the G____ years.
Both tragedies and an earthquake gave M----s early years too much drama.
Known as M----, in high school-M---’s diploma came from New London-Spicer MN high school in date withheld. She graduated and turned 18 on the very same day. Her parents gave her a bicycle and suitcases.Years later, while musing on the signifigance of such gifts, friends reassured her those types of gifts were typical of the time, and not to feel rejected. (haha)
M---- attended Concordia College in Moorhead MN, Willmar Community College Willmar, MN, and Southwest State University College in Marshall MN. She did graduate work in English as a Second Language through SCSU in St. Cloud MN, while working and raising a family. Married and divorced twice, she worked diligently as an English teacher in many schools around Minnesota. Unwaveringly cheerful in the face of many hardships, M--- could always make her family and friends laugh. She will be missed-a steady, bright, happy star.

*Feel free to edit. It's not like I will be there to be upset.

What wind is lifting Mary Poppins?

2008-03-21T10:29:00.000-07:00

I hear (inside my head) that I am having a musical day. I am actually on my Spring vacation from work, and my usual routine of chaining myself to my computer is out the window, and I am free swimming!!!!
Song stuck in my head. I actually had a different one first that I liked, but this one overruled. Can't say I LIKE it.
Straight up now tell me do you really want to love me forever?...oh oh oh, I'm not talking a hit and run.
Straight up now tell me is it gonna be you and me forever?, oh oh oh, or are you just having fun?

The song relates. I think I might be heading for a disappointment. I have been "negotiating" a male female relationship. He's still in raising family stage and I am in become myself after empty nest stage. I don't think he wants the woman I envision myself becoming. I feel he's looking for someone willing to be a homebody and helpmate. I am afraid there is a lack of people contact up in the rural northern area where he has (may I say VERY SUCCESSFULLY) made a life for himself.

It's been really a growing experience to be apart distance wise. We have been forced to communicate the old fashioned words way. Kind of amazing.

My job informed me I am not having my contract renewed. I am going to miss the paycheck, the insurance and the people. Not the long hours.

I wonder what my life will be. I have had a curiosity for Las Vegas...no particualr reason except that they need teachers. I had a perhaps erroneous idea that Vegas doesn't suffer from the death heat Arizona feels. Oooh, research opportunity.
Motto, Catch a fresh breeze. What wind is lifting Mary Poppins?

*Side note-daughter visited by police last night in a defuse violent boyfriend situation.
She's out there learning a lot about life.

2008-03-19T20:39:00.000-07:00

Light and Lacey
Delicately dancing dragonflies float on green glass shimmers with silver lace spheres. 7.5" Silver lobsterclaw clasp.
$21.00 delivered by mail.

2008-03-19T20:27:00.000-07:00

Sweet lil Swirls
Candy sweet green and clear glass swirls, barrels
and spheres circle your wrist. 7.25"
Shipped to your door for only $21.00

Fiery Warmth

2008-03-19T20:12:00.000-07:00

Fine facets. Charming copper rondelles flank fiery faceted
green delights. Positively glowing, and lovely for day and evening.
Shipped to you anywhere continental USA for only $18.50.

Sexy French Hooks

2008-03-19T20:03:00.001-07:00

Smooth and Sexy
A rare pair, these smoothly translucent glass-green ovals nestle in silver wire, dangling from sexy silver french hooks.
$18.50 includes shipping and handling

Bad, day? The muppets will cheer you up!

2008-03-19T19:53:00.000-07:00

Been so busy working on work, I see the days are slipping by faster and faster. Had a bad day today. My calliope ride stopped, and my job said my time was up. Could be soon, or could be June. Either way, the muppets will cheer me up.

THE MUPPET MATRIX.

Can you smella what's cooking?

2008-03-16T12:48:00.000-07:00

I am expecting a busy week. I like healthy food options as I pursue a trimmer waistline, battle thyroid slowdown and "female" stuff, SO, I cooked up a few things.

I call the oven roast, "A roast." HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry.
More about roasts later, including the cookbook that inspired a lifestyle change and brought a world of low fat FLAVORFUL options to our lives. Wondering about the fat content of the sausage? LOW, it's deer sausage.

The muffins-my daughter battled food challenges for years, and I spent lots of time working on a tasty fat free foods, including breads. I can honestly say this fat free muffin tastes lovely. The hardest part about fat free muffins for me is (you are thinking NOT eating them all, aren't you?) the tendency they have toward RUBBERINESS. This brand new recipe I created today (hooray for me) is a soft, tender, delicious success. The recipe later, perhaps. I am making blog promises I don't know if I can keep. (a new thing...hmm I have blogvolved)

The soup-it was a soup Sunday today. I needed some TLC and some hydrating. Soup's the solution.

Step one-my first product description.

2008-03-14T14:12:00.000-07:00

Fresh as Spring
White strands lace through the dangling green glass barrel beads. Silver finishings compliment the cool breeziness of this exquiste earring set.

$12.50 includes shipping and handling.

B. Moore BE MORE

2008-03-13T08:43:00.000-07:00

Identity crisis.

Empty nest syndrome. Like a tempest at sea, a tornado, a killer hail storm, a tsunami, worse than the earthquake I lived through.

I had NO idea people. NO IDEA.
Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes, intellectually it didn't escape me.
Emotional holocaust.
Absolutely.
Am I Eexaggerating?

think

ponder

question

wonder

debate

contemplate

determine

ascertain

evaluate

analyze

theorize

hypothesize

choose

NO, not an exaggeration. FOR ME. For you, probably not so stinking tough.
Why so tough for me?
extenuating life circumstances including but not confined to:

attachment issues, abandonment issues, adopton issues, lack of living parents, no spouse no boyfriend, self image issues, a work from home job-isolation, fat and aging in a thin, young culture, a daughter with a huge share of her own issues

whoop...cell phone call. Wait until you know what happened.
Now, I am not usually mystical, but I don't mind thinking or intuiting in that vein.
BUT, my

(haven't met him in person yet hope he becomes my boyfriend, I think we have a future, havetowaitandseemightbeabomb)
new love interest "Mr. Maybe" mentioned he might call me sometime. So, I go running to the phone and a older man's voice slushes "sorry wrong number." Agile as a cat I put his number in a browser-seeking to learn who misdialed.

GUESS WHO CALLED ME? on this day where much of my future is a question mark?
On this day where I am evaluating
what's going on at work,
and what I want out of life,
and what shall my path be,
and where do I want to go,
what do I want to do with
my Spring,
my Summer,
my life, and today as I leisurely bathed, and shaved, and read and lollygagged (Hey, I earned it-I have been working my brain off.) I thought of the books I want to write, the people who could help me live my dreams if I dared

GUESS WHO CALLED ME? No one I knew...but (exaggeration coming) it's a sign, a message, a cellular phone mystic message.............B Moore called me. Uh huh. From a nearby town.
B Moore.

BE MORE. Okay, as I wonder what my life shall be, what path to take, I WILL BE MORE. Thanks B Moore. I hope you got to the person you needed.

Idears

2008-03-13T08:34:00.000-07:00

Can you identify the spot and the circumstances?
Leave a comment. More to come on this photo later. It's one of a 3 series.

Ideas of things-

Things to post.
Lace collection that doesn't know it's a collection yet.
My dad's box of stuff.
Videos videos videos
Bob the farmer comments with photos
How about getting an entire history of the P Family in pics on with Sue helping me get the history.
The N Family.
My collectibles.

Okay, that's good.
Oooh, the jewelry?

In the attic of my past

2008-03-11T16:19:00.000-07:00

Row row row your boat. I recently rummaged through the dimly lit attic of my past. This picture was in April, taken on Norway Lake near New London MN probably 1991 or earlier. My parent's 25th wedding anniversary was cause for a party with much family from across the US. I have good memories of Norway Lake, including watching my father and his brother, Uncle Joel, carry my grandfather from the shore, seating him in an aluminum boat. My grandfather's twitching arm and long bamboo pole landed a record number of crappies. His gravelly voice was hard to understand, but you knew his broad smile and twinkling eyes meant he thoroughly enjoyed himself.

2008-03-08T11:03:00.000-08:00

Ever have a thousand projects going at once? I have many things to do, but the time is so limited. I know, I know. I have read get organized books, tips that tell you to "make an appointment with yourself."
I will take one step forward by posting this picture of a fish my daughter had in one of her largest and very delightful aquarium.
More to come after I accomplish more.

2008-03-05T16:48:00.000-08:00

Lifted at Desert Cat Blog
http://desertcat.blogspot.com/
-Thanks DC.

SurvivalBlog.com: The following is one of those items that widely gets circulated via e-mail, but this one is legitimate and I think that warrants posting to the blog:'Be prepared should you get this call. Most of us take those summonses for jury duty seriously, but enough people skip out on their civic duty, that a new and ominous kind of fraud has surfaced.The caller claims to be a jury coordinator. If you protest that you never received a summons for jury duty, the scammer asks you for your Social Security number and date of birth so he or she can verify the information and cancel the arrest warrant. Give out any of this information and bingo; your identity was just stolen.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

2008-02-28T06:34:00.000-08:00

Bird watching is a tricky deal-as is tree climbing...ask this three hugger.
Actually, I retract that. It's bird identification that's tricky. Bird watching, not so much, identifying-like kissing upside down, underwater. I know, not easy, right?! There are a few helpful pointers that can take you from bird watching to bird identification in a heartbeat. Here those pointers are with a story and pictures of a bird flock visitation from my own backyard.

So, this flock of birds just rolls into the backyard making high pitched noises. Like nothing I have ever seen OR heard before. They are large birds that hover with hummingbird actions.Extraordinary, and there's a pile of them droppoing from the sky into the birdbath. My first ever birdbath. I grab the camera.

So in picture two, you see there are eye bars....AND there's what looks like a yellow bar across the tail. Pretty extraordinary to me!! Sorry for the blurry, but with the camera I have, this is what I get from inside my kitchen window. I'm going back and forth from the birds to my computer, trying to get a line on what kind of birds these are.
Pointer-having birds identification books might come in handy. I've seen most of mine at the homes of elderly relatives. Can't say I every thought I would want a couple of bird books of my own. I've been mostly a novice spotter, but am moving up the ranks!!

It's tough using the internet to identify birds, but it does work. If you enter yellow bar on tail, in a seach engine though, you might think you are looking at a frillback pigeon or some sushi.
Pointer-When using the internet to assist your bird identification, keep alert and pay attention. It's a key to accurate identification. *even entering the word bird can be extraordinarily helpful
And then, you get a fabulous picture....and even some more fun, the latin name of the bird, which for the Cedar Waxwing is Bombycilla cedrorum....

Pointer-get professional advice. Before I consulted Cornell Laboratory, I just looked up at the sky and pointed at anything I saw and called its name. That's for beginners who think they know something. Your parents probably got you started by pointing at the sky and enthusuastically naming: AIRPLANE, HELICOPTER.

Cornell Labs ups your game:

Cornell Lab of Ornithology - How to Identify Birds
Explains how to identify birds by
silhouette, ooooh

field marks, aaaah

posture, schlump

size, uh huh

flight pattern, tower, are we clear?

and habitat. smoking or non smoking.....oh, habiTAT!!! I see.

And a more in-depth explanation of how to identify birds

Tips to make identifying birds easier:
First ask "How big is the bird?" Is it as big as a sparrow, a robin, a pigeon, a chicken or an ostrich? Is the bird fat or skinny, long or short?

Look at each part of the bird. Is its bill short or long, thick or thin, curved or straight?

How about the tail? What shape is it? Is it forked?

Are the bird's wings pointed or curved, long or short?

Check to see if the bird has wing bars or an eye-ring or a patch of color on its rump. Many birds found near water have distinctive markings on their wings or tail.

Finally, look around you. Are you and the bird deep in a forest, on your lawn or 50 miles out at sea?

See if the bird is swimming or wading.

Can the bird climb trees?

Does it wag its tail a lot? * I like this question.

When it flies, does it go straight or up and down like a baby roller coaster?

If you can answer many of these questions, you have a very good chance of finding your bird in the field guide.
And I say, if you take some time for the birds around you, there is much to enjoy.

I make bread

2008-02-27T08:58:00.000-08:00

I enjoy making bread. These loaves might be my first four original bread recipes: Beef Loafenoff, Please be Seeded, Lemon-Basil, and Chiregono.

To Live for

2008-02-26T11:32:00.000-08:00

emails from work: You have to read from the bottom up people, the bottom up. Start at vroom vroom

Okay, I'll bite. WHY did you buy ten boxes of Cheezits, and why did "Oh my" escape the lips of the cashier? Are you known for doing some town stomping after your cheezits acquisition? Do you invite ten burly cowboys in for cheezits and cards and then they tear up and shoot up the town???
OR, is it really that 10 boxes of cheezits in a row dizzifies the clerk, and she reaches for her smelling salts tucked handily away in her bra? *I hope I am not going to get in trouble for the b word here. I am fictionalizing...I am an authorwannabe.

AND you say, YOU LIVE FOR IT. What has become of our neon dreams and our white hot sparkler wire sunsets?
I live for a soft 59 cent loaf of herb bread and some butter in the fridge.

Sad little lives eked away into cyberspace. But (sound of royal trumpets) we have bingo, scratch cards and some dip for our cheezits.

Name Removed

From: Name Removed: Tue 2/26/2008 1:23 PM To: Name Removed:
RE: Vroom- Vroom

All better :) Today I bought 10 boxes of Cheezits. It was fun. I always shop at the little Super Valu in Elbow Lake, so I'm known quite well. It was fun to see people look at me weird and hear the check out lady say, "Oh My!" I live for that!

name removed

True Love not to be Trifled With

2008-02-25T07:34:00.000-08:00

Truffleupagus. Trufflehuffing. Truffleitis. Truffleophage.

I am particularly FOND of these. I find them most frequently in World Market. With very little trying, you can either pick them up *for free as samples around Christmas, OR carry them away to eat at your leisure as you shop, then feel guilty and pay for them, or, pay for them then eat them, OR, you can avoid them because they are just going to move directly from your lips to your planet celluloid.

Here are my darlings all dressed up.

What if Indiana Jones found THIS?

2008-02-24T19:02:00.000-08:00

What if Indiana Jones found THIS?

Hirst unveils £50m diamond skull

The diamonds encase a real human skull
The diamond skull Artist Damien Hirst has unveiled a diamond-encrusted human skull worth £50m - said to be the most expensive piece of contemporary art.
The 18th Century skull is entirely covered in 8,601 jewels, while new teeth were made for the artwork at a cost of £14m.
The centrepiece of the 41-year-old's creation is a pear-shaped pink diamond, set in the skull's forehead.
Hirst's most famous work is a shark preserved in formaldehyde.
The skull, which was bought from a shop in Islington, north London, is thought to belong to a 35-year-old European who lived between 1720 and 1810.
Flawless
The £12m-worth of diamonds are said to be ethically sourced.
Hirst said his piece, called For the Love of God, is "uplifting, takes your breath away".
"It works much better than I imagined. I was slightly worried that we'd end up with an Ali G ring," he added.
"You just want it to be flawless, like a diamond is a flawless. We wanted to put them everywhere," Hirst said of the skull.
"They go underneath, inside the nose. Anywhere you can put diamonds, we've put diamonds.
"I wouldn't mind if it happened to my skull after my death," he added.
The artist said that he was inspired by an Aztec turquoise skull at the British Museum, and hopes that his work will eventually be displayed at the institution.
Other Hirst works which have also gone on display at the White Cube gallery in London include a painting of his son's birth by Caesarean section and a tiger shark cut in half and suspended in two tanks of formaldehyde.
Art expert Charles Dupplin from specialist insurer Hiscox called the skull "another bold move" from Hirst.
"This is a spectacular piece and undoubtedly the work with the highest intrinsic value in modern and contemporary art," he added.

source:http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/6712015.stm

another article about the Hirst skull and its creator

Damien Hirst's latest artwork is this life-size platinum skull encrusted with 8,601 fine diamonds. The sculpture, titled "For The Love of God," will likely sell for as much as $100 million, making it the priciest contemporary artwork ever made. White Cube gallery is selling several limited edition silkscreen prints of the work, priced from £900 to £10,000, for one sprinkled with diamond dust. The title of the piece comes from Hirst's mother who asked her son, “For the love of God, what are you going to do next?” From the New York Times:
For Hirst, famous pickler of sharks and bovine bisector, all his art is about death. This piece, which was cast from an 18th-century skull he bought in London, was influenced by Mexican skulls encrusted in turquoise. “I remember thinking it would be great to do a diamond one — but just prohibitively expensive,” he recalls. “Then I started to think — maybe that’s why it is a good thing to do. Death is such a heavy subject, it would be good to make something that laughed in the face of it.”Hirst, who financed the piece himself, watched for months as the price of international diamonds rose while the Bond Street gem dealer Bentley & Skinner tried to corner the market for the artist’s benefit. Given the ongoing controversy over blood diamonds from Africa, “For the Love of God” now has the potential to be about death in a more literal way. “That’s when you stop laughing,” Hirst says. “You might have created something that people might die because of. I guess I felt like Oppenheimer or something. What have I done? Because it’s going to need high security all its life."

YA THINK??

Indiana Jones is BACK!

2008-02-23T06:58:00.000-08:00

Oh Monkey Brains. We waited a loooong time for this much excitement.

Anthill Espionage

2008-02-20T08:56:00.000-08:00

When Tic Tacs go undercover.

2008-02-18T09:39:00.000-08:00

WARNING: This post contains only text. Proceed at your own risk.

Would YOU DATE THE AUTHOR OF THIS? You might know the answer to that within the first sentence. I have to admit I skipped and skimmed for awhile just to try and see if I could actually make some sense of it. The jeans getting tight is a fun part to browse.
Go ahead, please, write a comment...WOULD YOU DATE THE AUTHOR OF THIS?

We've been having a back channel conversation amongst the trackers at unmediated about how/whether to update the way in which we aggregate, present, and make useable the content on the site, in light of all the various aggregators, digg and its clones, and role model group blog sites that we all consume/use/hate/love. Since we all primarily support open media movements and the freedom of bits and so forth, and with all of us being busy with our primary projects, we are looking for ways to make getting content on the site easier and more streamlined, while making it obvious that we are presenting other sources content. With the availability of open API's for just about any type of media aggegration literally getting past the saturation point, and mashups taking every possible form, we are wondering, is it time to take a step back, or a step forward with how/what we do at umediated?
In the course of my surfing today, i found this new site, Boxxet Which just might be the straw that breaks the camel's back in how we all perceive the current mix and match nature of the web as it now stands. What's different about Boxxet from other aggregators and mashups like the newest entry popurls, (which aggregates digg, slashdot, reddit, newsvine, tailrank, and flickr) is that Boxxet is a Website generator. Thats right, just pop in all the urls u want to aggregate (and WHAT from them) choose how u want to format it, plug in the url that u want it to be accessed at... and whammo: Your own site with everyone elses content, and all thats left to do is decide whether googleplex or yahooza is going to be the source of your linklove revenue. And if u have on older domain that u plug this into...well, we all know how the pageranking with search engines work by now. It used to be that u had to have a bit of code knowledge to make all this stuff work. Eyebeam's Re-blog engine which powers this site was not a simple undertaking at the time that Michael Frumin and Michael Migurski put it all together... a half a year before Marc Broadband-mechanicked the term Reblog as his latest buzzword before casting his attention on the ourmedia-meme. (kudo's, kudo's) But now, with the cut and paste mentality of webculture that we at unmediated have helped create, the pace at which people are remixing and repurposing code is accelerating at a rate similar to the curve that we saw with pro-sumer desktop video... almost anyone can do it. I have this sinking feeling in my gut that we will arrive sooner than later at the same existential threshold that the film studios and record labels are squirming under to our joyful cries of "die, dinosaurs, die!".
What i am wondering, is how long until my hero of the open-information movement, Cory Doctorow, and the rest of our pals at BB will tolerate re-aggregation and repurposing of his content, (now that he is investing so much more time at the site) before he (or any of one us) screams, "FOUL!" Stewart Butterfield over at Flickr is dealing with this beast at the moment...and i have to admire the dryness with which he states,
"I loaded the FlickrCentral pool and firefox got up to using 240mb of ram before dying. So that's not a great user experience, but it's really terrible for Flickr. If it catches on and you don't limit it, we'll have to cut you off :\"
Sure, Stewart, blame it on the user experience and firefox. ;) I admire your candor, and personal attention/approach to what has become one of the hottest new BRANDS in Web 2.0 ...that u still have time to be personal and all flickr-fuzzy even after being acquired, but I am sure that your jeans feel like they're fitting a bit tighter all of a sudden.
Pretty soon, I expect, a lot of us bell-bottomed infornistas are going to wake up in a similar pair of Jordaches. I'm curious which of us will cut the inseams and sew in another totally different material to keep our style,and which of us will claim that now that we're wearing skintight jeans ("they're really really comfortable...REALLY! You think i should get a pair of Reeboks to go with 'em?"), that the manufacture of bell-bottoms should be forbidden. I point this all out in good humour only to illustrate a point: The times, they are('nt) a changin'>, and Cory just might wake up one day soon in his magic kingdom, and say "Hey, man, where'd all my whuffie go? And he's going to have no choice but to join Walt's pinstripesuits in pushing for copyright extension. It's a pill i hope he (and we) never have to swallow.
So i pose the question to our community readers: How do you see unmediated-Are we crossing the boundaries in how we repurpose content? Would you like to see more editorializing? Narrower/Broader scope? Are we a repository of information that you come back to use, or just part of your daily information addiction? Let us know... I, for one, would like to have an idea about what pair of jeans to wear this year ;)
michael

You have to see this BLOG-Shoeboxblog

2008-02-17T06:29:00.001-08:00

This blogsite showcases blogs. Through it, I found these cartoons. They made me laugh out loud. You might enjoy them too. If so, you might want to go to Shoeboxblog for more fun fun fun.
shoeboxblog.com

2008-02-17T05:27:00.000-08:00

Familiar with this song? "I'll give you a daisy a day dear....I'll give you a daisy a day. I'll love you until the rivers run still, and the four winds we know blow away." Hank Snow. The song popped in my head for no reason really. I was thinking marbles. The thought, a marble a day popped in my head, then the lyrics popped in. I let my brain run wild like that. Then, I watch what it does. Hey, free entertainment!!! That's no small feat nowadays. The average American spends over 1800 annually to be entertained. *MSN Money.

http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/Savinganddebt/Savemoney/P36019.asp

In the previous blog I explained how I compared myself to a marble.
Here are some pictures of the marble collection I invested in at the Renaissance Festival this summer. Enjoy the pictures today. I will have to write the story of it another day. Like a fisherperson uses a fishfinder to help land the fish, I use a technique too, to determine if a man is single or available. This particualar event was memorable.

And, I have the marbles as a good reminder.

Anyone else hearing 2001 Space Oddysey opening music, especially the drums-boom boom boom boom boom boom boom? I saw that in London when it opened. Thanks Mom and Dad.

Looking for my inner Diva.

2008-02-14T10:12:00.000-08:00

Did you catch a little bit of the Grammies? I did. It's like the fat on a lovely steak, a little bit is tasty-if it's crispy. Too much, bleeech.

I watched Tina Turner and Beyonce and am still in awe at Aretha's canary yellow wrap. That was about a week ago, wasn't it? *Time flies when you work long long days.
This morning Good Morning America explained Beyonce offended Aretha by tagging Tina as the "Queen of Soul." Very interesting stuff.
One bit brought out was how Aretha is fidgeting under the constraints of being the "once was" while Beyonce is "all that."
Kind of reminds me of high school. Or, being a sophomore in college. There was always a new wave of girls washing in on a new tide...and girldom *the kingdom of girls* SHIFTED.

Aretha made some positive comments, and still gets my RESPECT,

Tina-my heart for asking, "What's Love Got to do, got to do" and Beyonce........you young hot thing you, She keeps me looking for my inner diva.

Inner diva, where you at????
Happy Valentine's Day............................................Keep your inner diva divine. Peace out.

Men don't like short hair.

2008-02-13T09:06:00.001-08:00

Sometimes it takes me a time or two to "get it." Now, I don't actually believe I am right 100 percent or even half of the time, but I have NEVER been afraid to act confident..and present an idea or thought or opinion as what I think right now.

It's okay to hypothesize and test, and rehypothesize. It's okay to gamble and lose. It makes life a trifle more exciting. Take the weather for instance. I am usually WRONG about the weather. It's nearly a reliable fact. I continue to say what the weather will do just to see if my wrong streak is maintaining its consistency.

*Waiter, write this idea down for me I got it while writing the word trifle...take an existing blog and rewrite using words that are a trifle off. Take an existing word and rewrite insecting vibes that are a truffle off.
*Pardon waiter? You don't have time. I will have to create myself a personal assistant then. Thanks for the idea. Stay tuned.

SO, I had a thought to ponder. I call online dating "fishing." It's not really dating because you aren't dating..you are looking to get a date. This fellow from a city 90 miles south of the Canadian border expressed an interest in me. Low and behold, or rather GADzooks, I had another fish on the line at the same time. Waddya know, two in one 5 year period at the SAME time!

Okay...I exaggerate some too. I think I've had more possibles than that over the last five years.

Anyway.
This "far north guy" has many admirable qualities, but the other guy was a daily event and we were phone talking...hadn't met yet. So, I let north fish go. When daily event didn't pan out, I saw north fish was "on" the site again. I sent some emails and tried to regenerate interest. I mean, after all, this is the guy who wrote, "Do you want to come help me raise my 12 year old?"

Breathe.......YES, I SAW the red flag. I mean the guy had never met me and he's "talking" like this. Reminded me of the wild wild west, where women had a number of clearly defined roles too. Oh, the "far north-away from shopping malls" red flag and the "isolated" red flag were also waving. I actually know wherof I write...I lived 89 miles north of his neck of the woods for four years. Still, a "fish on the line is very divine."

I was not able to regenerate interest. On the website you can see when people ogle you. They call it views. I was getting the views from the guy, but no emails or winks back. I pondered for a couple of days...a week or two, maybe three, time FLIES by in my world...and I got NADA.

Then, it hit me. I had changed my picture and my hair was much shorter.
There we have it, proof for my hypothesis. Men don't like short hair on women.

I have another theory though....I don't think men are drawn to women who describe themselves as marbles. See:

deedeedadee deedeedadee deedeedadee LATE BREAKING NEWS deedeedadee deedeedadee
I went to my dating site to get my profile write up and GUESS WHO WROTE?? Up north. He wrote a lovely little message and I believe we are heading into the next phase...the "would ya could ya if I ask ya would ya wanna be my baby tonight.." okay, the lyrics are fun, but it was more the "we should meet sometime what do you think, here is my biggest fear" stage. I replied positively and with clear suggestions. Tee hee.

Back to our regularly scheduled program-Here's my actual online dating service I want-a-date description of myself comparing myself to a marble:

A little about me...I'm a little like a marble. Fun, easy to take along, colorful, and entertaining. At the Renaissance Festival this summer, on the last day, when it was raining cats and dogs, I bought handmade marbles that are nearly artwork.

What are you looking for in a partner?Sounds really lame at my age, but I want what my mom and dad had in their retirement. They had each other. They played cards, went traveling, he worked in his workshop making things. She came up with ideas, gardened, kept the house, made quilts, painted, etc. Since that's hard to find, I would be happy going for coffee and some chit chat. Maybe a movie. In the spring and summer, I enjoy fishing spots and travel. Gardening and grilling out. I make it sound like I'm not working, but I do...as a teacher.

I'd just like to add...Flirts are nice, but I really love messages.

__________________________________________________________________

I personally liked this one, but it didn't get too many nibbles:

What are you looking for in a partner?I would love some male companionship. We'll know if we hit if off. Things that would be fun to do-fishing, grilling, garage sales, fiddling in the yard, hanging out with friends.

I'd just like to add...I smell good. On Friday nights I like to wear essence of ribeye or prime rib with a hint of hops. Sat night perhaps some tin roof sundae, then, on Sunday, I like to go with deviled eggs.

Now, I need a personal assistant. I have an idea...I want to start my own dating site and maybe I can call it Destiny Designed Dates. Too gushy...I hear ya.

Ghost Dredging

2008-01-31T13:35:00.000-08:00

Steam off blog.

When I SKYPE someone, and she sees my hair cut shorter again from the last time she saw me and SAYS "Why do you keep chopping your hair?" on the same day eHarmony sends me another round of rejectons-each with the simple phrase, "Match Closed"...I am brought back to the days when I hated myself.

These were mostly the days when I was under 25. Wait, I hated myself some years after 25 too, just to keep the record straight. When my mother was alive, she might say something similar to the hair chopping comment. Whether said then, or now, it still hurts...and so does the rejection. Ghost dredging.

Breathe in and out. Ghost dredging. The art of having painful bad memories of your past come up and you dredge them in melted butter and flour and you eat those memories right on down like chicken fried steak, or chocolate truffles, or t-bones and a baked potato smothered in nearly drinkable butter and oozing with sour cream. Or like a cheesy quesadilla, or a stuffed crust pizza. Or ice cream or whatever the hell is handy. Yesterday I decided I was going to FEEL instead of eat compulsively. Here I am-feeling. Winter really eliminates so many activities, doesn't it? In the summer you have the entire out of doors to go feel in...and fish, and garden, and shop, and shop for produce from other people's gardens.

Okay...now, I really don't have to go that far to get through this. I don't hate myself mostly anymore. Yeah, there are troubles, sorrows, sadness, griefs, piss-offs, and tears, but I don't blame myself....I don't consistently breathe in and out agreeing with myself that I am a horrible person.

Not TODAY. Not when my hair looks good today. It is shiny, and the cut is pretty good if I do say so myself. I cut it myself too. Saved myself the cost of a couple of haircuts too. Didn't mess things up too badly either.....back in the day, when I first started cutting my own hair, I might have to go for an emergency save me from my hack job haircut. Salonists aren't that nice about it either. I have had one say "Looks like your dog cut your hair."

Dredging up the past.............Ghost dredging. The salonist is a bad memory, my hair looks good for now and will grow. Maybe I should have taken the vulnerable path and answered my friend with the bald truth.

"I cut my hair again because I feel old, unwanted, used up, worthless, rejected, overweight, and I hoped a new haircut would make my face look a little less heavy while I try to figure out how to solve a lot of middle age issues including metabolic slowdown, premenopausal drama and trauma, and a general depression. Furthermore, your comments are hurting my feelings and I need you to consider being more sensitive to my feelings."
I didn't have the energy or the guts. I should have seen it coming. Today was the day I decided for every negative thing I believed or listened to inside myself about anything, I was going to respond with 2 positives. Er, haven't gotten that into the automatic habit stage yet.

Ghost Dredging....some ugly ghost from an ugly past rears its head? Face it, let it go. Turn your face to the sunshine of today. No sunshine? Find some. Make some...borrow some.
Or, get into your pajamas, go to bed, and sleep it off. Tomorrow's a new day.

Locked out on a full belly is not so bad.

2008-01-26T06:58:00.001-08:00

Two single schoolteachers talk on the phone Friday night around 5ish.

E: Marti?

M: Hi Erin.

E: Have you eaten yet?

M: No!

E: I need to get away from the yearbook. Want to go get something to eat?

M: YES!! I'm all ready. *And I WAS. I was all dressed up and looking for something to do.

I have even painted my toenails with glittery pink nail polish!

So we wind up in Outback Steakhouse.

Ahhhh, Outback Steakhouse.

We arrived and there are no less than five young ladies smiling and ready to welcome us. I guess they were the Walet people-you know, they walk you to a seating place. What impacted me the most is the cost of having 5 people employed to seat people. Say 8 dollars an hour and maybe they have the girls there from 6-8...That's $80 dollars just in wages for the hostesses for two hours. Okay, you're right, that's actually pretty cheap labor. Okay.

The thing that NEXT impacted me, is this-women do SO much of the work of the world. Not the heavy lifting, building skyscraper work, but the backbone work of our society.

We saunter up to the bar.....*second choice was called "The Hightops." I don't think a one of them has ever worn a high top. or they might have come up with a different, more elegant term for the eating area in the bar section.

Rick, the bartender, was fabulously entertaining. We closed the place down!!! Oh yeah. I rock. Okay, we headed out around 10:30.

Here are the delicious beverages we enjoyed there.

free Wallaby Darn taster

Wallaby Darn Darn that's tasty

Rum Berry shooter free taster and boy was it tasty

another Wallaby Darn

2 for one which was really 2 for $8.00
which made it 1 for $4.00

mind you, that tasty sweet Wallaby Darn nectar has
Peach Schnapps,
champagne, fresh peaches and
Peach vodka in it.

After our meal, of ribs and fries for me, and a New York Strip for my teacher friend-and some good fun with the people around us, the gal barkeep held two glasses out to us, and offered us 2 mistakes. White Russians. Lovely. I LOVE A FREE drink.

I AM going to have to polish up my people skills. We had *in my opinion*, the good fortune to be seated at the corner, so we could really enjoy hobnobbing with the people who came to the bar predinner. I regret using a casual and perhaps even a demeaning air when I would refer to the 21 year old blonde as, "The little blonde...." She was fun, and intelligent, if not ungodly young, and she knew I was not BEING demeaning. I just figure-for later- I want to be a little more cautious, because not everyone is going to be such a good sport.

We also enjoyed handing the TV remote to Jeff, the head kitchen dude who was belly to the bar, and I thoroughly enjoyed mocking him as he squinted and tried to locate the TV shows we wanted. I told him he was banned from the remote, but he called it, dammed. It actually made me think about whether I could actually permit a man to come into my house and have equal say in all things controlling, like the remote.

We popped into a couple of hometown bars. SHUDDER. SHUDDDDDDDERRRRRRR.

And I got dropped off at home. My friend did not wait to see me into the house. *I could have called her back to help if I wanted.

Locked dooknobs DO NOT wiggle loose.
Credit cards, or gift cards do NOT click open the door.

Thank goodness for some window magic.

And there you have it. An evening out for a 44 year old.

I wonder if they have "How to Pick lock classes." I'm always looking for something fun to do on weekends.

2008-01-23T07:17:00.000-08:00

Since 1994 I HAVE used internet dating. Hey, it's not as glamorous as you might think. I think it's maybe seedier and uglier and barfier...but not glamorous. I have a method...and usually avoid what I consider the most awfully gross parts.

Below you read one of my more creative ventures into completing one of the online profile forms. Even with my creative, articulately funny self, I am just not a hit...or something. Far below I show you proof. I bring eHarmony to the table where I got dumped or rejected by 22 people in one shot. HOW'S that for a new low??

A little about me...I seem to be a natural at talking and making people laugh. I teach things like creative writing, often with a twist of fun. I like to do simple things like garage sales to more complex things like landscaping to put more garden area in my yard.
What are you looking for in a partner?I would love some male companionship. We'll know if we hit if off. Things that would be fun to do-fishing,grilling, garage sales, fiddling in the yard, hangind out with friends.
I'd just like to add...I smell good. On Friday nights I like to wear essence of ribeye or prime rib with a hint of hops. Sat night perhaps some tin roof sundae, then, on Sunday, I like to go with deviled eggs.

I'd GO OUT WITH ME!!!

What you see below is a screen shot of at least 8 petential matches closed by the guy. Now, let me be fair...I wrote in my profile that I am a plus sized woman. I feel that needs to be clear so we don't waste a bunch of time and energy for something that can be a dealbreaker within SECONDS!! Even so, the rejection QUANTITY sure did surprise me. There are still potential matches...and I'm not paying for anything right now, so that's a plus.

Empty Nest=Family under construction..mother's heart is constricted

2008-01-18T11:35:00.000-08:00

Under Construction
Dreams…amazing aren’t they? Much goes on inside us we don’t even know about.
With empty nesting and may I say, it’s been its own brand of hell, I haven’t been remembering my dreams. That has been find and dandy to me. Up to this point I could say I have slept well when I have been asleep.

In spite of not wanting to worry, I AM worrying.
Hey, I’ve nearly gotten over this impulse: When I am sleeping, the second I awake to consciousness I leap out of the bed determined to get dressed and drive to where my daughter is and help, save, rescue, and MOM her. I no longer spring out of bed…I lay there and actually can go back to sleep.

For the first time in this excursion of empty nesting, I remember a dream about my daughter.

I was driving to the place where she was living. I realized I was on a road that was actually a driveway…and there were signs of construction. The color was light, and sunny. There was a giraffe and a cheetah…the feeling was that these animals were having their cages expanded. Yes, that’s it…expansion.

When I went into the house…a roomy, California style place….I grew up in California…I was surprised to find “the lady of the house” in a white casual suit. Short hair…petite but pretty ordinary. Nothing striking about her.

Woman of house maybe doesn’t speak, but I know I am to explain my presence as I am walking IN her home…even though I didn’t open a door to get in….because of the construction activity the home was open. I believe this is the mother of the two fraternal twins who live/own the place my daughter is living in. *In real life that’s how it goes..sounds like a well to do family owns the home and my daughter and others rent a room.
I say I am looking for my daughter who lives here. The woman acts like she doesn’t know my daughter. I figure that could be because a lot of things young people do nowadays is NOT communicate to adults.

I don’t remember my words, but I know I am trying to open the conversation around to asking the woman to help my daughter stay living in the place. To cut her some slack, to work out an arrangement. To help my daughter who has gotten herself in a huge financial mess. I feel my daughter needs stability and to keep living in the same place so she learns how to manage instead of making an attempt and failing and running out in more ways than one.

I explain that my daughter has a low income and limited resources. The woman replies, “She retired on twelve thousand dollars last year.” *Later I think retired was the wrong word for here..but hey, it’s only a dream.

The benefit I get from writing about it is a look at some themes coming out of the explanation: under construction and expansion. For BOTH of us.